We’re often so proud of ourselves for making the effort to communicate that we don’t pay attention to our approach. Becoming aware of how you present your thoughts and ideas can get them across more clearly. Simply paying more attention to yourself can help. Ask yourself,  “Is this how I’d like someone to talk to me?”

I tell women in my classes if you want to quickly shut down many a man’s hearing system, say those four little words!  “We need to talk.” When a man hears this, he knows something unpleasant is coming, so why listen?  Defenses come up.

Guilt distorts people’s hearing. If someone’s guard is up while you’re saying how you feel, he’s thinking ahead to his defense. So  how can you get heard  objectively? Starting with a positive statement can lower resistance and make ears more receptive.   I’ve interviewed both sexes and see a pattern.  Men often state a problem in a matter of fact tone. Women tend to have more emotion, often reflecting annoyance, impatience, etc..  Men get listened to more. Any wonder why?

Changing your methods of communications takes work. Self-awareness takes time. But it’s worth the effort when you get the responses you want…finally!
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