Real life is perfect balance. And we each get from this life exactly what we give to it… no more, no less. This is a cardinal rule, although it’s widely rejected by the masses that refuse to see where they’re responsible for what life continues to give them.
Wanting love from God, without first giving God your love, is like wanting to be in better shape before you start a long-overdue exercise program. Make no mistake about this… and anyone who tells you differently lies for the sake of some kind of personal gain. To go “up,” you must give something up of yourself; not once, not ten times, but continually.
Spirit serves those who serve it; Love comes to those who walk away from selfish acts. Kindness and patience flower only in the hearts of those who die to the cruelty of demanding that life give them what they want when they want it.
Your life, right now, is as it is because of what you are giving yourself to right now… and this kind of giving of yourself is the same as what you treasure right now above all else. You can’t go on feeling angry without giving yourself over to resentment’s reasons for the fire in you. You can’t go on feeling sad without standing in the ashes of some past event and rubbing the memory of it all over yourself. You can’t go on feeling inadequate in the company of others without measuring yourself by a set of social standards that say one’s worth is only what others agree it is… on and on and on.
So what then must one do? It’s right before you: give up what you’re giving yourself. Sacrifice it for something you love, even though there’s no “guarantee” you’ll get something back that’s “better.” Act upon the little bit of love in you that longs to grow and know the greater Love that gave it birth, and see what Love does in return. There are no maps in this uncharted country called the celestial life. But you’re not on your own if you set sail.
One last thought: stop worrying about what you can’t seem to do, and become aware of what you don’t want to do — of what something living within you clings to and won’t give up — even though you sense you must make that change. Even the smallest of lights such as this — brought into the darkness of yourself — starts a sequence of changes within that will reveal the next step in the direction of the Love you seek.