Question: I recently found out that my husband of 21 years has been unfaithful. I should have picked up on the signs long ago, but what do I do now? Do I go out and find another love? I feel there is no purpose in life. Can you help me find a way through this?

Answer: You must work hard now, within yourself, to be watchful for these wrong parts of you that want to punish you with feelings of frustration, despair, or depression. As hard as it is for us to understand, negative states such as these that have come into your heart just now have no right, none, to define you and then confine you to their limited view of the moment. It’s these states that really hold us captive, and not the condition (or person) they blame for that bitterness. As best you can, for a while, be still and watchful of yourself instead of allowing these angry parts to tell you what you need to do to feel “better.” We want to learn from these shocks, discover the truth of ourselves (and those around us) in a way that can’t cause any further pain (to anyone). By learning to embrace what is light and true we slowly transform the “dark” parts (in us) that first set us up for these “falls” and that then sees to it we trip. Everything about our lives can and will change for the better, but only as we allow Life to teach us the hard-earned lessons it would have us understand.