Why do we accept so much unhappiness in our lives today? If you think this supposition is untrue, ask yourself why people spend so much time seeking ways to distract themselves with empty pleasures? Or why so many people push themselves along one spiritual path after another, blindly hoping that something will happen to mitigate their sense of emptiness?

The self that is moved to do this kind of imagining does not understand that some unseen force of sorrow or distress fuels its dream engine. Consequently, the more it works to imagine some hoped-for happiness, the more identified it becomes with the opposite of what is driving this dream of brighter times to come.

Our lives are meant to be bright, noble, and ever ascending. This promise of our true potential is made good in us by fulfilling our possibilities and not through the interminable struggle of trying to prove what is impossible. Most of our sorrows are the stressful offspring of trying to be something we have no real need to be; they are born for attempting to do what cannot—and need not—be done.

The following 10 Causes of Needless Heartaches reveal how we cause ourselves unnecessary suffering. Each of these ten insights contains two key ideas: First, whenever we are goaded into attempting the “impossible,” we not only suffer defeat, but we also strengthen the self that would have us believe it’s possible to put a fire out with gasoline. Second, as we awaken to see these false workings in our mind, we also see there is only one possible solution to end the suffering they cause: we must stop listening to and obeying their foolish advice. In other words, as soon as we see that the healing we hope for begins with releasing our unseen relationship with the parts of ourselves that are responsible for our self-hurting, the sooner our heartaches end.

Now, let’s look at ten small places in our lives where we are trying to do the impossible and where, as a result of our misunderstanding, we are still sowing and reaping the harvest of frustration and heartache.

1. It is impossible to make others see where they have made a mistake.
2. It is impossible to be carried to a secure and peaceful harbor on a ship crafted by anxiety or fueled by fearful feelings.
3. It is impossible to gain real happiness at the expense of someone else’s pain.
4. It is impossible to genuinely elevate yourself by pushing another person lower.
5. It is impossible to take advantage of others without living in secret fear of them.
6. It is impossible to realize the fulfillment of the Divine as long as we remain filled with ourselves.
7. It is impossible to rise above any fear or worry whose root we have not found, uncovered, and removed from our own present misunderstanding.
8. It is impossible to receive forgiveness in life without having learned what it means to freely forgive.
9. It is impossible to wish another person any kind of ill, for any reason, and not be made sick ourselves.
10. It is impossible to resist or hate any condition in life and learn from it at the same time.

See how many ways you can enlarge this list through insights of your own about the ways in which you are being tricked into punishing yourself. This is priceless self-study and it rewards the sincere seeker with a life free of unnecessary sorrow. Remember and honor your intention to win Real Life by daring to act out the truths that set you free. This is the challenge, and the cost, of earning true contentment in life.