When we’re around other people, and start to have a negative reaction toward them, we can begin to know better than to blame another for the negative states revealed in us. For instance, if an angry person comes to us, instead of tolerating his or her negative state, we work with the understanding that we have seen the exact same anger in ourselves.

In that moment we disarm the lie of the “superior” self by effectively canceling its corrupting power to produce the illusion that we are different from the people we tolerate. And in the collapse of that opposite, love and compassion are born. “I can no longer treat you as someone to be “tolerated”; I realize the fact that you and I really are “neighbors” because we share a common burden: the need to discover the truth of ourselves through one another.”

The new intention in all our relationships is something like this: “I will not suffer you; instead I will work to be increasingly conscious of us, suffering what I must for the sake of both of us. I will not cast you out as being something inferior to myself; I will not do that because I can’t recognize in you anything as being an inferior condition in you unless I have it in myself.”

Our work, if we’re willing, is to catch that surging separation called “you are different from me.” And then, in that same moment, to apply our new understanding that cancels this unconscious act of resistance. Instead, we embrace the realization that “you” and “I” are both exposed in this God-given moment that God meant for the purpose of transcending ourselves.

Remember that “tolerance” is a lie because it produces a “me” that is always apart from what I am tolerating. There cannot be love where there is separation. Risk leaving yourself open by refusing to identify with the parts of yourself that would have you believe that resisting life can lead to being embraced by it. Do the inner work and you will understand the greatest secret on Earth: everyone on it has a gift just for you — if only you will take it.