Question: I had a friend for 5 years, and out of the blue I made a simple remark…and now she is not my friend anymore! I apologized, and she said she forgives me, but it’s obvious she holds a grudge. Now our friendship is over… for good. It’s breaking my heart. What can I do to get over this? How can there be no forgiveness for what I said without thinking?

Answer: Friendships should be looked at as one does a tree; without a deep and healthy root system to sustain the tree in droughts — and through storms — the tree will not thrive and survive. So it is with so-called “friends” whose caring runs only as deep as temporary circumstances allow. You are better off without this person, and should be glad to know what you now do about her! You have not lost a friend, but gained new understanding about how shallow runs human nature! Don’t be afraid to see the truth of these words. Your new understanding will eventually bring you new and truer friends who share the same wisdom as well as the love of it.