Who hasn’t crashed into that dreaded moment when we realize that someone we love has had a change of heart toward us? Suddenly we see, perhaps for the first time, how painfully dependent we’d become upon his or her company or approval and — connected to that same fearful neediness — our willingness to compromise ourselves, to do whatever it takes to keep that relationship in place.
It is the light of higher self-awareness that is our real friend in such unwanted moments. It reveals what is concealed within us, releasing us from the psychic bondage of serving what had been secretly limiting our right to live without fear. If we will fan this spark of inner light, embrace instead of resist what it reveals about us, it becomes a kind of spiritual fire — a higher level of awareness that will always help us to see the secret goodness in seemingly “bad” moments. In this way we discover that behind every bitter disappointment lives the presence of a sweet light whose power can turn any unwanted event into a new kind of victory not yet imagined.

Learning to welcome events that foster this understanding helps liberate us from painful attachments to relationships, possessions, and of course, our own bodies. What follows is freedom from all forms of false dependency and their attending fears.