It often feels as if our relationships – especially as they mature – give rise to more questions than they seemed to answer when we first became involved with our partner. The following four questions show us that we’re not alone in our concerns, as well as setting the stage for us to look into a single insight that holds the answer to all of them at the same time.
- Why is it that even though I have a loving partner, there are times when I still feel so empty, as if I’m alone?
- Things couldn’t have been better when we first started out, but that sparkle is starting to fizzle! Where did the love go.
- When we first got together we’d talk for hours on end, but now we hardly talk at all. It’s as if we have nothing to share anymore…beside our practical affairs. What’s happened to us?
- We’re trying to spice up our relationship with little to no success. I know we love each other, but the only time things seem to get “hot” is when we’re in a fight of some kind. How do we start over?
Even if we’re comfortable and content with our significant other, and things are going relatively well between us, the one answer to all four of these questions still applies. In fact, our ability to see the truth of it is what determines whether or not our love will have what it needs to flourish, or it withers on the vine. Please give the following insight all the attention it deserves:
The longing we have to love and be loved is not some fixed bond that, once made between consenting partners forever answers our need for love. For love to flourish it must be ceaselessly exchanged. Like the pristine waters of a high mountain stream, if love isn’t renewed it ceases to flow, stagnates, and eventually disappears.
Our own personal experience proves this last insight. It helps explain why we find ourselves looking into the eyes of those we love as we seek – in a wordless communication – a feeling of love that we both need, and want to share with our partner. So that when we do say, “I love you” – or give some unspoken affection to a child, or even a cherished pet that returns our gaze – what we’re really saying is, right here, right now, being with you completes the need I have to love and to feel loved. And as our love is renewed, so are we.
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