QUESTION
I get so easily confused these days as I wrestle with all the ways one hears about how to handle difficult people. No one approach seems to apply or work with everyone. It seems I can only repeat solutions that have already proven themselves to be incomplete at best. Help!
ANSWER
Every situation in life is, in itself, new; however for us… it is only as new as is our capacity to meet it that way. So, in one respect, there is no set “right” way to deal with disturbing people, or the problems they manifest. The key here is to remember that each situation is a school unto itself, which means they are incomparable. And if moments can’t be compared, how much more true is this when it comes to the ways in which they are to be met by us? That being said, one more thought: In spite of appearances, what is true never varies in its relationship with life; what changes is the way that truth is expressed and the outcome of its effect. With this last idea in mind, seek to see the truth in each personally challenging moment by deliberately suspending the reactionary certainty that always appears on its heels. This conscious choice to be “watchful, instead of willful” changes the moment from one resisted into one that is revelatory in nature. In the end, it is this re-birth of our perception that holds the power to change all that is perceived, including difficult people and our problems with them.