Jay, I want to get back to the very serious issue of the debate over health care in a few days, but I want to interrupt that flow with a point of personal privilege.

You see, I have been attacked by Ann Coulter…again. This one deserves an immediate response.

She has now claimed that I’m not a real minister — and not a real Christian — and has told readers that she would send a free copy of her newest book (sure to become another New York Times bestseller) to the first person who can send her a “copy of my bar mitzvah photos or birth announcement.” 

I wonder why my lineage would matter. After all, there are some of Jewish converts to Christianity, including yourself, Jay. Maybe she is convinced that I am the Antichrist.  Many fundamentalists concerned about this matter (including the late Jerry Falwell) believe he is already among us and claim the said figure must be Jewish. Hence, to Ann, I must have been born Jewish.

Obviously, Jay, I believe all of this is just nonsense, but I want to put this claim of Ms. Coulter’s to rest–and I’d like to win one of those great New York Times best sellers.  I would also like to ensure that she does not repeat this error that could discredit her scholarship, which has already taken a few hits over her recent works, Treason and Godless. 

So, in the interests of the truth as Ann Coulter would want to know it, please note the following:

Here is my birth certificate from Cameroon — as anyone can see, this “authentic” document makes no reference to Jewish origins. (Note, this birth certificate is courtesy of lead “birther” Orly Taitz.)

And here is one of the earliest known photos of my parents and me.

Frankly, alien lineage is incompatible with any known Jewish tradition. (I verified this with several rabbis and Madonna, for the more mystical possibilities.)

Look, I don’t even have Ann’s e-mail, so you might want to help get me get this vital material to her.

As noted, I’ll get back to “socialist medicine,” “death panels” and other non-existent features of the Obama health care plan in a few days.