For anyone involved in a long-term relationship, breaking up with your partner is never an easy thing to do. Even if you’re the one ready to move on, there’s still a ton of fallout. Rarely do things end in a clean break and the aftermath of the situation can often times last for several months (if not years…yes years!). It’s one thing to deal with a clingy, psycho, stalking ex, but it’s another thing when you’re guilty of contributing to the mess too. So we’ve decided to provide you with some tips that will help prevent you from throwing anymore fuel into that already burning “breakup fire”…
Having “Break-Up Sex”
Rule number one people: The words “break up” and “sex” should never be used in the same sentence. Sex is sex. It feels good and it’s hard to say no to. Your recently deemed “ex” might say, “it’s casual”, or “just one more time for good luck”. They are lying. No matter how drunk, horny, depressed or blue-balled you are: don’t do it. A relatively painless breakup is only achieved through a clean break and, well, there is nothing clean about sex.
Posting Miserably Sappy Facebook/Twitter Statuses
Guess what! John Mayer and Howie Day never had anything to do with your relationship, and they never will! Sure, her body may resemble a wonderland, and maybe you would still enjoy getting lost in a sea of covers with him, but the world of Facebook does NOT need to know it because frankly, they don’t care.
Talking To Their Friends
Unless they were your friends first, don’t do it. Despite your ultimate sneaky-ness, they’ll see right through you. They know you only care about getting dirt on your ex. For example: “So, what did you do last night?” instantly translates to “Were you with (insert name of ex here) and did they do anything I’d be pissed about?” Let’s be honest here folks, his/her friends wont tell you the truth and honestly, you’re probably better off not knowing.
Sitting On The Couch…For Days At A Time
Cry me a river, why don’t ya! One day of nothing but sulking to the tune of The Notebook, a full container of Ben and Jerry’s and those sweats you swore to never whip out in public is enough. After that, go to the gym, take a run, walk your dog…do SOMETHING! Endorphins plus newfound energy plus a toned bod equals instant confidence for the dating scene. So, get up and get out. Your friends will be happy to see you and you might just be happy again, too.
Excessive Binge-Like Drinking
Do the words beer goggles and drunk sexting mean anything to you? Breaking up and alcohol are almost as bad of a mixture as your ex and your best friend. If you are going through a break up and you decide to make the bottle of vodka your next victim – think again. You will, I repeat, WILL, text your ex. This text message will lead into a downward spiraling conversation laced with topics like how much you miss them and how much you want them in your bed tonight. And, if you’re one of those angry drunks, you may throw out a couple insults such as “you were never even good in bed” or “I only dated you because my friends dared me to” of which will be impossible to recover from. But, that might be okay.
Staying “Friends”
Hellooooo. This IS NOT possible and you’re lying if you say it is. Or if you say that you want it to be. Who ever decided to put the word “friend” in boyfriend and girlfriend didn’t anticipate this list. But they should have. Friends don’t have sex. They don’t fall in love and they certainly don’t post “In A Relationship” on Facebook for the world to see. Okay, well, maybe they do – but you get the point.