I remember reading an article somewhere (forgive me mama for I can’t remember) about this woman who broke up with her beau because of the kind of car he drove. On the list of superficial reasons to break up with somebody, especially since you’d already decided to date them under the same circumstances, that had to rank somewhere around ludicrous and 50 Tyson.

But then I got to thinking, as a wonton brotha is wont to do. And you know, I feel her pain. If I remember correctly, he drove a rusted out Ford pickup that had to be an early 80s model. That makes her look bad. If we are a reflection of the people we date, that makes her rusty. And NO woman wants to be rusty. You can bet that. I found myself sympathizing with this wayward soul and her disdain for looking like a trashy belle in a sea of TMZ worthy babes in Camar’s and Bugattis.

Which led me to wonder, what are other completely superficial but understandable (totally misguided though) reasons to dump somebody…and roll with it?

Let’s delve.

Shall we?

Yes. Let’s.

Allons-y.

To much Twittering

I saw an article recently that said that people who tend to Tweet a lot have shorter relationships than folks who don’t do all of the Tha Twitterahn. Thing is, I can understand why you’d drop somebody who spends ALL day on the Twitters. Except I can’t understand it. Some folks are just verbose and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m generally amazed at folks who have hit the 5 digits in numbers of tweets. And I’m a talker. Of course the idea behind dumping somebody behind Twitter is how you think it makes you look or that they’re boolovin’ Twitter more than you. They might be. Give them some good head one night and tell them to stop it.

Ugly shoes

Women hate a man in busted shoes. Shoes don’t make the man though. Man makes the shoes. TAIWAN! But there is something about seeing a man walking around in some busted Buster Browns because it goes in direct contradiction of a well put together man. If you’ve got car real big, house real big, wheels reall big, everything real big and your Jordan’s look like Poordan’s, a woman would have a reason to drop you like fourth period French. Malloy!!!! Oh, and a woman in jacked up shoes might look like she smells like teen spirit.

Sneezes too much

My boy dropped a chick once because he said she played with her nose too much. Now she wasn’t into cocaine, she just had horrendous allergies. But apparently the sneezing got in the way. Sounds mad shallow right? Wrong. Can you imagine if you’re at a silent place, say a silent picture movie and your won’t stop it with the gesundheit necessity? That would GRATE on your nerves. Not only is she loud, she’s sneezing triple time too. She’s outta there.

Doesn’t read Beliefnet.com

It’s just a site right? No, it’s a lifestyle. If you’re not here reading, you’re losing. Hide your kids and your wife…in a place with internet access and change lives. Malibooyow.

Can you think of any other odd reasons to break up with somebody that actually make some sense? Get loose with it and have fun.

Shake something.