It’s a time-tested and well-worn fable that most women are just floating through life innocently and happily being saints and perfect people until some man comes in and ruins it all. That man can be her father, a boyfriend, a husband, a dog, etc. Basically, she’s great until he shows up.
Whoever he is.
While I think that this is total poppycock, I will admit that some men play more games than others and some men aren’t fit to be in relationships of any sort. I’ll also admit that I’ve played games, whether intentionally or unintentionally, at worse and have been a terrible communicator at best. Communication is the key to any relationship and if that piece isn’t in place, well, everything fails.
This isn’t to say that I think women are all good communicators either. I know plenty of women who struggle in that arena but because the men they deal with also struggle, the blame by default goes to him. Game. Blouses.
So, yeah.
Let’s change lanes for a second. I know a lot of women. And for many of them, I’m their male voice of reason; the go-to guy for the male perspective and the one who helps talk them off ledges they probably shouldn’t be on the in the first place. One thing I’ve always noticed about these conversations is how easily upset and wound up women can become behind the smallest of things. It’s no secret that women are creatures of relationship habit. The moment a man deviates even a little bit from what he’s always done, women’s spidey sense goes off and they go into Def-Con Self-Protect Mode 3.
Attempts to determine what’s wrong are one thing, but often I’ve seen my women friends go overboard and attempt to decipher if a man still cares or truly wants to spend time or see her all because he left a loving salutation off of a “good morning” text or didn’t call like he normally does in the morning.
It could mean nothing at all. But I think that in most women’s mind, it always means something or else why would he switch up the routine. There must be a problem.
Here’s a true story. Some years ago, I was seeing a woman and I’d normally call her or text her in the morning. Well, I must have been sleeping crazy because I managed to knock my phone (which served as my alarm) off of my nightstand and under my bed (I wish I could remember that dream) and thus didn’t hear the alarm go off. The damn thing must have been buzzing for an hour by the time I naturally woke myself up.
Well in that time that I was still sleep, I’d received no less than 4 text messages and 3 phone calls from the girl I was seeing. The voicemails got increasingly more pissed to the point where the last one was basically, “oh we’re playing immature games now, f*ck your couch, etc….”
When I woke up and listened and and saw the texts and even saw her going off on me on Twitter (yes, it was apparently that serious), I was totally amazed at how fast she went from zero to insane. Even after talking on the phone (and clearing that up) she admitted to deleting me from Facebook and blocking me on Twitter. Mind you, this was AN HOUR. In her defense. we’d had a tense convo the night before, but it didn’t end in verbal fisticuffs or out-and-out disdain. In fact, if I remember, we got off the phone in a cool space if not our normal perfect space.
But she went “there” with it after I didn’t wake up and text or call.
So, I have a question for the women out there…do you all ever drive yourself crazy with some of your antics? The girl I was seeing at the time even had to admit how crazy that sh*t was. Has your intuition always been right when you’ve sauntered off the deep end or on occasion have you had to check yourself and regroup and realize that perhaps you might need to learn to chill out.
My gut tells me that even if you all do find a need to regroup and chill, you’ll just get some sort of affirmation later on that tells you that your actions are totally justified therefore you did nothing wrong. Again, I know a lot of women and things ALWAYS play out this way.
But I am curious. It’s just us girls talking.
Do you ever drive yourself crazy with your emotions?