One thing about dating, its typically not an isolating activity. Friends and family get involved, wait staff at local hangouts weigh in opinions, sometimes even strangers throw out a comment or three. We never really are completely alone with another person thanks to all these soundtracks, opinions and voices running in our minds even when were are one on one with the one we love.

But lets narrow it down to your friends. The family that you choose. The people that you trust. What do you do when your estimation of your date/mate significantly differs from what your friends think? Do you listen? Do you let it impact what you do or don’t do with this new person in your life?

Guys may think that this post really centers around the girls because guys don’t even talk about the women in their life to each other, right? Nope. First, some guys do talk about it (even if not to your face) and second even if your friends don’t talk about it, can’t you tell what they think by the way they react to the woman in your life?

I’m going to make this one fairly simple. There are really only a few things you need to consider.

1. Do you trust and admire your friends? Do you look at the decisions they make and think that you hope to be that wise/balanced/real/adventurous/spiritual/whatever in your own life?
2. Do you trust and admire yourself and your own decisions? Can you take information, process it and make your OWN decision even with alternate opinions and input?
3. What are the comments about? The superficial like “He chews his food too loudly” or “Her fingernails don’t match her toenails.” Or character concerns like “I don’t like the way he treats you because he pokes fun at you in a mean way all the time” or “Why is she flirting so much with Joe over there when she’s your date?”
4. Have you been honest enough with your friends to trust that they have the input needed to make an accurate assessment?

If you have friends, you trust, who care about you and are commenting on character issues… Be very wise and give weight to their input when you are making your own mind up since they may be noticing something that love/lust blinds you to seeing.

If your friends are nitpicking the small things or picking out traits that really make no difference to you, then feel free to sail along your merry way and date or dump as you see fit.

If you haven’t been very transparent and your friends think the world of your date or hate the person unequivocally, consider letting a few into your inner sanctum and give these friend enough balanced information to support you in your dating process.

I’m not one to advocate following the pack mentality. After all, your friends aren’t dating this person, you are. But sometimes, love CAN make you blind and its wise to take into consideration what the people who love you think.