There’s one thing you can do today that will improve your relationship almost instantly.  It won’t cost you anything more than a little thought and effort.

The problem is, most couples forget to do this one thing for each other, and that’s doing and saying things to boost each other’s self-esteem.

Doesn’t sound that difficult in theory, but in practice… few couples are actively doing it!

In this blog, I’ll talk about the importance of self-esteem and then give you 3 tips for things you can do to start boosting your partner’s self-esteem today.  Then, hopefully they will remember to return the favor after you have paved the way.  Please keep reading…

Why Self-Esteem Matters in Relationships

You like to be around people who make you feel good, right?  No one really wants to be around people who make them feel miserable about themselves.  That would be masochistic, which generally speaking, isn’t most people’s thing.  Usually, we don’t stick around for long for poor treatment.

A healthy sense of self-esteem contributes to having a healthy relationship.  And no one is immune to wanting to feel good about themselves and their relationship.

Women in particular define themselves by their relationships.  If they don’t feel good about themselves, that will have an impact on their relationship, which in turn will impact their sense of self-esteem, creating a dysfunctional cycle where feeling unsuccessful feeds upon itself.

Men also enjoy boosts to their self-esteem.  While they don’t define themselves by the success of their relationships, they do define themselves by their ability to work and provide for those they love… and they like to get acknowledgement for that.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, giving your partner a boost to their self-esteem can result in a positive boost to your relationship.

And how hard is it to do?  Even if your relationship is currently in a really lousy place, surely you can find one good thing to say about your partner.  It can be something as simple as saying they look nice today.

Next, I will give you 3 tips that will help you formulate self-esteem boosting compliments.  There are a few categories where anyone—male or female—would like to hear praise.

Self-Esteem Booster #1: Compliment Sexual Performance

I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t want to hear about their prowess in bed.

Think of what happens when we’re told we’re not good at something… we tend to hold back out of fear of not doing it right.

So this one has a dual benefit: if you tell your partner what a great job they do in pleasing you, then they feel good about that ability and aren’t as likely to hold back.  Now, not only did your partner’s self-esteem get a boost… your sex life just got one, too.

Self-Esteem Booster #2: Compliment Abilities

If your partner is good at something, whether it’s fixing cars or baking perfect cakes or handling unruly kids—say something.  Let them know you notice their outstanding abilities.

Everyone enjoys recognition for what they do well, but unfortunately, most people only seem to be capable of seeing what others do wrong.

So think how refreshing it will be for your partner to know that you able to see what they can do right.

Self-Esteem Booster #3: Compliment Efforts

Does your partner ever go above and beyond to do something for you?

You may not realize what efforts your partner is making that makes life a little bit nicer for you.  A lot of people take those things for granted.

Often, the reality check comes when you watch another couple in action or hear stories about what other partners don’t do for each other… and that’s when you need to tell your partner, “I appreciate the effort you make when you do X” and fill in the blank.

My best to you in improving your relationship using self-esteem.