One of the most intriguing parts about any relationship discussion is the fact that men and women swear that neither of us understand the other one. We try to explain ourselves, largely to unsuccessful results. Honestly, I think that’s part of the fun of relationships: the journey. Sure it’s great to get to the point of understanding one another and effectively communication, but where’s the fun in discussions that end in twenty minutes because everybody is on the same page?

Exactly.

Now, I’m a man. Shocking, I know. I just found this out myself on Tuesday. This means that I tend to view things in terms of my manliness. What THAT means is that I think of things in a very different way than most women do. Which is the problem. Men and women process things differently.

Since I’m a big believer in world peace and unicorns, I figured I’d share a few ways that women could use to help their men understand the words that were coming out of their mouth better. And for the record, it’s not that you all aren’t speaking clearly ladies. It’s just that we don’t understand what you’re getting at or trying to imply at times.

1. Use sports analogies

Ninety-eight percent of all men are fans of sports. Not just one sport. All of them. I  hate hockey, but I’m glad it exists and I can understand the game. Ladies, if you’re able to flip a sports analogy to explain why your man is an idiot, not only will he understand, he’ll probably explain to you what he could have done better in terms of say, that particular draft day blunder, and then you can run that RIGHT back onto him. Everybody wins. Of course, this tactic would require you to take an active interest in sports. But trust me, baseball analogies always work.

2. Use movie analogies

If you can manage to work in an analogy that somehow includes The Godfather, not only will he understand better, he just might take you to dinner and propose. Just say, “Gosh Jim, you don’t ALWAYS have to go to the mattresses!” He’ll realize he needs to calm down and then he might even hug and kiss you. TWOFER.

3. Short and simple phrases

We like linear logic. Women don’t. <—-Generalization Alert. For many women, discussing every facet of the issue is as important as the issue itself, which I’m sure we’d all agree, blows. We need to know the problem, not the four steps that led to the problem in the first place. While background information is important, letting us know very clearly and concisely what the problem is upfront gives us the chance to contextualize and prepare our defense, should we need one. We like simple things.

4. Use diagrams

Men are visual. It’s why we like boobs and curves. We can see them. We’re not big fans of things we cannot see. It’s why we question everything invisible. See: Crusades and history of world via religion. Plus, diagrams harken to playbooks which is like…drumroll please…a sports analogy. (See #1). It’s a win-win. We like colors too. Next thing you know you’re both smiling and laughing at the terrible drawings you’ve done.

Those are some methods for making your man understand you when he clearly isn’t able. Take it and win with it. More sports!