Dear Friends,
I am running off today to celebrate my tenth anniversary with my wonderful husband, Jon. Okay, I’m not running off. I’m actually sitting here with ice on my left foot, wondering if I broke my toe. So much for that romantic dream of hiking through the woods on Valentine’s Day.
Yes, we were married on Valentine’s Day. It seemed appropriate to make that the happiest day of my life since, until that day in 1998, Valentine’s Day had regularly provided some of the unhappiest days of my life.
I awoke this morning humming that touching, heartbreaking song from “The King and I” sung so beautifully in the film by Deborah Kerr. “Hello, Young Lovers, wherever you are. Be brave and faithful and true…. All my good wishes are with you tonight. I’ve had a love like you…”
And, of course, I wish for all the young lovers out there a Valentine’s Day of their dreams tomorrow. Roses, romance, the whole deal.
But let’s face it, there really should be a song called “Hello, Young Lonely People Wherever You Are.” For them, Valentine’s Day is something to get through without crying or binging or showing up at a Happy Hour and humiliating themselves with their pals.
The truth is, it’s hard to be single and dateless on Valentine’s Day. I’ve had those nights, like you. And all I can say is this:
One: Never give up. If you truly want to spend your life with someone you love, pray for that person right now. For their happiness, for their safety, for their faith, and for God to confirm in them that you are out here, waiting, too.
Two: Be kind to yourself on Valentine’s Day. Don’t drown out the pain of loneliness with too much food or alcohol or, God forbid, worse. Call a friend, see that movie you’ve been putting off, buy those shoes you’ve had your eye on. Write in your journal. Or start a journal. Write down every wonderful thing you know about yourself and then BELIEVE it.
Three: I didn’t get married until I was forty three. And for all the Valentine’s Days that came before that wedding, I asked myself “where is the right one?” And I’ll never forget my friend Ruthie who told me very matter of factly one year “He’s out there, Martha. God has got him in the oven and he’s still cooking. Your man isn’t ready yet.” And, you know what? She was right. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: God’s timing is perfect. So, trust it. That special person is out there cooking. You don’t want to pull him or her out of the oven too soon and get a half-baked mate!!
So, in the meantime, don’t despair. Hang in there. Trust God. Remember that God is cooking up something wonderful with you, too! Love the unique person He has created in you. Let that light shine so that when the time comes, your partner will have no trouble recognizing you!
Most importantly, let’s all remember that no matter what romance we have or don’t have in our lives, we are never more loved than we are right now, this minute, by the One who loves us most. And THAT is something to celebrate!
Love to all on Valentine’s,
Martha