In my last post we talked about three ways that blame is incredibly destructive and harmful in your life. In this post we’ll talk about two things you have to do to stop playing the blame game.

You’ve probably had a conversation with someone where you’ve told them they needed to stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for their lives. Sometimes that works, many times it doesn’t. If you want to stop the blame game, you have to address the core reasons why people blame: pride and fear. People blame others because they’re too prideful to admit that they could do wrong. As long as pride runs rampant in your life, you’ll never possess the humility needed to accept responsibility for your actions. If you want to stop living a life of blame, you’ve got to learn to humble yourself. Look at the humility Paul showed when he took responsibility for his actions, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst” (1 Timothy 1:15).

An even deeper motivation for blame is fear, fear that if you accept responsibility for your actions, the weight of the guilt and shame would crush you. When Adam and Eve hid from God in the Garden of Eden and blamed others for their actions, it was out of fear of God’s punishment. The antidote to fear is love, as John says, “perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18). God as our Heavenly Father relentlessly pursues us, but it’s not to punish us; it’s to embrace us in love. When we immerse ourselves in the love and grace of our Heavenly Father, the fear of punishment will dissipate from our lives and we can live a life free from the destructive side effects of blame.