(Check out my April Editorial Blood Moons, Dragons Eating The Sun: Astrology And Eclipses, HERE!) And now, just because celebrities are people too (with the possible exception of that Ukrainian model who got all that plastic surgery to look like Barbie), let see how this month’s pile of planetary tsuris is affecting some of our favorite celebrities… Justin Bieber (born March 1 1994, 12:56 AM, London, Ontario, Canada) hasn’t generated a whole lot of press lately, probably laying low because of his various pending legal issues. That’s likely a good strategy, because Tuesday’s Solar Eclipse is landing right on top of Bieber’s Moon — which is the ruler of his Ninth House: legal matters. Next scheduled Bieber legal day is May 15th when his manager records a deposition… the day the transiting Sun is quincunx Bieber’s Moon. Ouch. Tori Spelling (born May 16, 1973, 1:13 AM, Los Angeles California) is facing a double whammy from both the Cardinal Grand Cross and Saturn. The Cardinal Grand Cross is messing with her Uranus, which is in her Eighth House… matters pertaining to sex. On top of that, Saturn is conjunct her Moon, which can be a very difficult time emotionally. The Cardinal Grand Cross is also affecting her husband Dean McDermott (orn November 16, 1966, time unknown, Toronto Canada). His Moon in Capricorn is on the Pluto end of the Cardinal Grand Cross equation. Translation? The two have a new reality show coming out, and in the opening episode we will be treated to Dean’s confessions about cheating. It’s worth noting that Uranus is just now approaching the exact sextile to Tori’s Jupiter, which is the ruler of her Midheaven (career). So: Dean may be bad for Tori’s feelings, but apparently he’s awfully good for business. Speaking of Saturn, it’s now conjunct Hillary Clinton’s Mercury (born October 26, 1947, 8 PM Chicago Illinois). Her Mercury is in the Sixth House, which is the House the rules (among other things) “small movable objects.” Like, shoes. Specifically, like the shoe that Hilary-hater threw at her last Thursday at the speaking engagement in Las Vegas. From an astrological perspective, perhaps the most interesting celebrity news of late arising from the Cardinal Grand Cross is the announcement that Johnny Depp (born June 9, 1963, 8:44 AM, Owensboro Kentucky) is engaged to actress Amber Heard. What’s interesting about the timing of this announcement is of the Cardinal Grand Cross is affecting both Johnny’s Jupiter in Aries and his Moon in Capricorn. Both Jupiter and the Moon are closely associated with emotional security and well-being, and since Amber Heard is coming up on her Saturn Return by the end of the year, this does not bode particularly well for long-term marital happiness. Finally, it is rumored the Kanye West and Kim Kardashian will be getting married in a private ceremony this May 24th in Los Angeles. What’s interesting about this is that, assuming a noon ceremony, the Moon will be exactly conjunct Uranus at the top of the Cardinal Grand Cross. It’s not exactly the best possible wedding chart, but the Cardinal Grand Cross is not having too obvious an effect on either Kim or Kanye. Thus it appears that the most horrible outcome of the Cardinal Grand Cross may be that you and I and the rest of the world in general will be forced to endure many years of Kim and Kanye stories to come. But I try to be positive with my predictions, so forget I said anything about it.
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