Most people like having a good relationship, but everyone loves numbered lists on the Internet. We are now in the throes of a Full Moon, so I’ve decided to contribute this blog entry, that can help you and your partner express that Full Moon energy more efficiently.
I have decided to write this blog entry from the “Full Moon” perspective rather than the “relationship” perspective. In the event you are actually in a relationship (and want to keep it) please… do not follow ANY of these suggestions. If you aren’t currently in a relationship… well, a Full Moon can generate a lot of moodiness and irrationality, and it would be a shame to let that go to waste, so try these tips with a friend or family member or your cat or something.
1. Change up your routine
Everyone gets into a rut once in a while, and that sort of thing can spell trouble for a relationship. Instead of cooking the usual dinner for you and your partner, change things up by pelting him or her with raw eggs and potatoes. Make sure you emphasize how you’re the one who always get stuck with the cooking.
2. Explore the power of touch
Hugs and kisses are all fine and well, but the human body is covered with sensory receptors. Mix up your routine: instead of saying “hello” with the usual peck on the cheek, say it Full Moon Style by placing a pair of hands tightly around your partner’s throat, or with a firm but affectionate boot to the backside.
3. Friendship is magic
One of the keys to making a relationship last is developing a genuine sense of friendship with your Significant Other. That can be a little predictable though, so why not change your routine with a bullet-point list of everything that he/she does that fills you with homicidal rage? Print it off, wrap it around a brick, and deliver it through the living room window for maximum effect!
4. Take on a sexy new role
Relationship experts say a little role-playing can make your sex life more interesting. Instead of the usual “teacher/student” or “cop/speeding ticket” or “Batman/Catwoman” or whatever scenario you’re into, try something new and exciting. Try a round of “Who the hell are you? Get out of my house! I’m calling 911!” Spice it up with a little pepper spray.
5. Find your own space
Even a great relationship can be demanding on your time and energy, and even the best partner can be an imperfect human being. There’s nothing wrong with a little “me time” in order to recharge. Make some space for yourself by gagging and tying up your partner and leaving him or her in a closet or a car trunk for a day or so.
6. Focus on the positive
No human is perfect, and even a loved one has flaws. Rather than complain about the things your partner can’t (or won’t) change, change up how you express your concerns. Putting a positive spin on things can do wonders. Try saying things like “I can hardly wait until one of us is dead so I don’t have to listen to your snoring any more” or “if you don’t stop flirting with others, I’m sure your corpse will make wonderful compost.”
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