Mars is where you get your bollocks from. Named after the God of War, the Red Planet has been a popular source of fictional invaders over the years, and that’s appropriate: Mars has a lot to do with your drives, your ambitions, and your temper. Mars also has a lot to do with your sex drive. People who have strong Mars placements in their birth charts with a lot of difficult aspects to it tend to be competitive, oversexed, or just plain obnoxious. It’s also where you get a lot of your drive in general from, so without it you wouldn’t really get anything done. Of course, all of these negative attributes are also prime qualities of the typical Space Hero who shows up to drive off the Martian invaders. That may not be the sort of behavior you’d welcome at your next dinner party, but you’ve got to admit that sometimes it’s good to have a Space Hero around.
Mars also rules processes involving heating and cutting things, like cooking. That’s why I’ve turned this series of blog entries over to famous TV chef Gordon Ramsay, who will give you his personal opinion of the pros and cons of Mars through each sign in the birth chart… presented “Hell’s Kitchen” style. Well, let’s be honest… this is Gordon Ramsay, so it’s mostly cons. (Also, these aren’t real Gordon Ramsay quotes, but I have a lot of soft aspects to my Mars, so I tend to get my results by being quiet and a little under-handed.)
Mars in Aries
Mars is strong in Aries, and the head-first attitude of The Ram suits it well. People with this placement are usually energetic and strong-willed. You likely launch into new projects with great enthusiasm, but may get too easily bored or distracted when the grind hits. Mars in Aries isn’t always terribly organized with its time or energy, but often achieves its goals anyway. You are likely a fierce competitor, able to completely lose yourself in a game or in achieving your goals. Whether you are athletic or not, you’d probably be a great cheerleader (literally or figuratively). Your temper may flare up quickly, but it usually burns out quickly too. People with Mars in Aries tend to be hell on wheels in bed, until they become bored, at which time they are at least as useless in bed as everyone else is. They also have a strange tendency to bump their heads more than most other people — a spin-off effect of being naturally “headstrong.”
“Bloody awful. You were in too much of a hurry and the grill was overheated. You started cooking the chicken kebabs before anyone had actually ordered. You’re not a f–king chef, you’re a pyromaniac with an apron.”
Mars in Taurus
Mars in Taurus is not considered to be a great placement, but you are too stubborn to let that stop you. Like a bull, you are probably placid most of the time, until something provokes your temper — at which time you become a raging menace that’s almost impossible to stop. You probably have some kind of creative talent, whether you are using it or not. You were probably a star in kindergarten when it came to arts and crafts — and that was probably the last time you were able to work for a long stretch of time without being distracted by thoughts of material gain and/or sex. When your drives are frustrated, you are more likely than the average person to treat your emotions with food. You tend to be practical and methodical in your approach to problem-solving, and have a great deal of energy to get things done — you just have a hard time engaging that drive. You probably like sex a little more than the average person, and are probably a little better at it than the average, and you’d probably get a lot more of it if you were better at getting up off the couch and going to get some.
“It took you twenty f–king minutes to grill the bass. It came out tough, so you turn the heat up when I corner you about it and burn the steak. Do you even know what you’re doing here?”
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