beliefnet astrology matthew currie marsSigns that are next door to each other are generally pretty different, but odd couples don’t come much more odd than Libra and Scorpio. Libra is all about prettiness and relationships, and Scorpio has a reputation for being… well, Scorpio. Mars can make trouble wherever it shows up in a birth chart if one doesn’t keep a firm grip on it, but try getting anything done without it. Below is a description of Mars in Libra and Mars in Scorpio, followed by some choice culinary critiques as shouted by Gordon Ramsay. Bon appetit!

Mars in Libra

Mars in Libra has a strong urge to apply its energies to social situations and friendships, and is usually pleasant enough about it that no one realizes you’re being bossy until you’ve gotten your way and everyone is going for Indonesian food like you wanted. You usually handle social situations well, and often make a good party better simply by showing up. You tend to get annoyed at social slights and rudeness than the average person. Mars in Libra people tend to fantasize about growing up and getting married at a younger age than the other kids, and are as surprised as anyone else (maybe more so) when it falls through the first time. Your natural urge to be noticed and appreciated for your gifts can make you talented in the bedroom, with a camera, or possibly with both at the same time.

“Beautiful presentation. Great use of local ingredients. Utterly f–king bland, though. You’ve tried too hard not to offend my palate, and you’ve ended up wasting my f–king time.”

Mars in Scorpio

Be careful to choose the targets of your anger carefully: your fury is a powerful thing, and could easily take out a couple of innocent bystanders. You’re probably just as afraid of death in an emergency as the next guy, but are much less likely to show it. This Mars placement has a reputation for being vengeful and unswerving, which just means you should have killed all your enemies sooner so they wouldn’t badmouth you. No matter how many relationships you’ve had, and regardless of the nature of the breakup, it’s unlikely any of your exes are complaining about the sex: you’re good at it, and you know it. It’s more likely that your jealousy and possessiveness broke it up. When you hold someone close, they know it, and when you hold a grudge, everyone knows it.

“F–k me, think you’ve spiced that enough? I can’t taste anything else over the f–cking cayenne. It’s completely drowned out the other ingredients. Work with the food, not against it.”

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get thrown through the wrong window.

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