So a fellow Texan got kicked off her bus for reading the Bible to her children last Saturday on the way to church (she was Seventh-Day Adventist, and they go to church on Saturdays, because that’s how Jesus did it). However, before anyone started yelling Free Speech! or Religious Persecution! or Donna Martin graduates!, Fort Worth transportation officials made it clear that the lady wasn’t kicked off because she was reading the Bible. Nope. It was the volume: She was reading the Bible too loudly.

The mom says she was only teaching her kids. The authorities say, sure, but did you have to disturb everyone else while doing it? The bus driver asked her to use her inside voice but she refused. Because scripture, apparently, should be read with gusto. So the bus driver pulled over and let the mom and her kids off for violating the please-keep-quiet-on-the-bus rule. It all worked out fine, though, because the family was transferred to the van of a transportation supervisor and taken the rest of the way to church.

Mom: “Then Jesus said to them, ‘The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.’ “

Little Jimmy: “What? Did you say Jesus is Lord of the rabbits? What about the Easter Bunny?”

Mom: “No, ‘Lord of the Sabbath.’ Like Saturdays.”

Little Jimmy: “The Easter Bunny’s coming on Saturday?!?”

Mom: “No! I said, ‘THE SON OF MAN IS LORD OF THE SABBATH!'”

Little Jimmy: “Quit shouting, Mommy. Why is the bus driver pulling over? Why is everyone staring at us?”

Mom: “Because they probably go to church on Sundays, dear, and don’t understand. Look, here’s our ride!”

Moral of the story: If you want to read to your kids about Jesus while uneventfully riding public transportation on the way to church, then all you have to do is read quietly. If you’re tired of the public thing and want some private transportation, along with a little national news exposure, then be obnoxious about it.