I was just introduced to a young but already popular blog, thanks to a tip from my brother. It’s called Stuff White People Like, and it’s either a brilliantly funny model of satire or it’s borderline racist (depending on how sensitive you are about being stereotyped for your Caucasian-ness — check out all the comments here). But personally? I think it’s pretty entertaining. And accurate.
As a white person, I can attest that the following are pretty good descriptors of me:
#64 Recycling
Recycling is a part of a larger theme of stuff white people like: saving the earth without having to do that much.
#61 Bicycles
And of course, it goes without saying that white people who ride bikes like to talk about how they are saving the earth. If you know a person who rides to work, you should take them aside and say “Hey, thanks. Sincerely, The Earth.” Then give a thumbs up. That white person will ride home on a cloud.
#49 Vintage
Beginning in their late teens, white people begin an obsession with finding cool vintage clothing at local thrift shops and Goodwills.
#44 Public Radio
White people have an uncanny ability to make the ordinary exciting and there is no better forum than public radio to best showcase this.
If you are ever a white person’s house, and you see an orange box in their DVD collection, you should say “oh, you have Arrested Development, I love that show!” To which you will be offered a glass of wine, and perhaps an invitation to 80s night.
#19 Traveling
The second type of white person travel is Third World….But like with Europe, white people like to believe they are the first white people to make this trip. As such, they should be recognized as special and important individuals. That’s right, by going to a country, riding around on a bus or train, staying at a hotel or hostel and eating – they are doing something important for the world.
#9 Making You Feel Bad About Not Going Outside
While it would be easy to get angry at white people for this, remember it is hard wired in their head that the greatest thing a person can do in their free time is to hike/walk/bike outdoors.
#1 Coffee
I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes.
Sigh. Guilty as charged.
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