I sorta like like formatting a blog post as a conversation between two Jasons, so I’m gonna do it again. Don’t you dare try to stop me.
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Jason 1 (interviewer): So you said you had an announcement. What is it?
Jason 2 (interviewee): Hang on, wait a second. What’s with the attitude? You just jump right into the question without pleasantries or introductions or anything?
J1: I’m busy. Readers are busy. We don’t have time for that stuff.
J2: You’re my least favorite Jason so far. Couldn’t Fake Jason do the interview?
J1: Apparently he’s hunting the legendary Yeti in the mountains of Nepal.
J2: Oh. He’s always getting the cool assignments.
J1: We hates him. Preciousssss.
J2: Um…
J1: (clears throat) Yeah, OK. So your announcement?
J2: I have finished the first draft of O Me of Little Faith. As of last Friday. Finally.
J1: Congratulations. That’s the book you were writing for Zondervan, right?
J2: Yes. It’s a book about faith and doubt and my struggles with both.
J1: It sounds a lot more personal than the Pocket Guide books.
J2: It is. Those books are historical and snarky and information-based. This one is a combination of storytelling and memoir and some personal thoughts about a life of faith.
J1: And doubt.
J2: Yes, faith and doubt. I’m a Christian, but I’m not so good at the faith part of being a Christian. It’s about how I’ve learned to live with uncertainty and unanswerable questions and all that stuff.
J1: It’s still funny, though, right? Please tell us it’s still funny.
J2: Does the Pope pee in the woods? Does a bear live in Rome? Wait…um…well, of course it’s still plenty entertaining! Lots of self-deprecating humor. You know how good we are at deprecating on ourselves.
J1: Ew.
J2: I should clarify, though. It’s not actually finished. I’m not turning it in to Zondervan yet. I’ve just finished the rough draft. All the stuff is in there, but now I need to go through and polish it and make sure I’m not repeating myself. Also, I need to take out the lousy stuff.
J1: Then why the big announcement?
J2: Because the hard part is over. This is a time to celebrate. Coming up with original content is difficult. Editing? Not so much. At least, it’s not too hard for us.
J1: When do you turn in the final manuscript?
J2: After this next round of editing, when I’m happy with the manuscript. And then after I send the manuscript off to some trusted friends and advisers to get their input.
J1: Who are these “trusted friends and advisors”? Sounds fishy. Am I one of them?
J2: No. You’re too mean. Our wife is one of them, though. Along with some close friends who know us well and will be able to tell us when we are full of crap. And some editor/writer friends who will hopefully provide suggestions on language and style and content. They already know who they are, but I’m not mentioning names.
J1: Are you aware that there is already a book out called Me of Little Faith? It’s by noted comedian Lewis Black.
J2: Yes. I’m aware of it, though I came up with the title more than a year ago before Black’s book came out. Anyway, that’s why I keep saying my title is tentative. Do you think people will confuse our books?
J1: That depends. Are you a nonpracticing Jewish comedian, actor, and playwright known for furious yelling and ranting?
J2: No. I’
m a writer who grew up Southern Baptist, known primarily for my high school mullet and for those Pocket Guide books.
J1: Then you should be fine. Even if the books do get confused, it’s not bad to be confused with a bestselling author.
J2: Good point. Do you think Zondervan would go with an alternate title, then, in order to piggyback on proven bestsellers? Like The Purpose-Driven Doubter? Or better yet: Doubtliers. Or, as long as we’re being sneaky, maybe a pseudonym…like Jason Osteen?
J1: Excellent ideas. Let’s look into it. So…what’s next after this book is finished?
J2: I take some time off from writing. Three books in one year is a whole lot. We shouldn’t do that again.
J1: But you’re a writer. It’s in your blood. Admit it: you’re always thinking what’s next. You have some ideas, I bet.
J2: Well, yeah. There’s at least one potential new project in the works. And I still have the bug to write something fictional. Like a novel. That Fake Jason Boyett novel on Twitter, while stupid, has been sorta fun to write.
J1: You know, we had that one idea for a novel several years ago, with the writer and the other dude and the thing about the thing? We never did anything with it. But it’s still a killer idea.
J2: Oh, yes. It’s good all right. You never know. That might be the next project. We’ll have to see if we’re up to it.
J1: We will indeed. Bwa-ha-ha-haaaa!
J2: Yikes. What was THAT for?
J1: It just felt right. Mysterious. Conniving. That’s how we roll.
J2: This interview is over.