I have long had a theory that, again, has proven to be accurate due to recent events. Please consider the following photos and see if you can guess the connection:

Rod Blagojevich (left): Current Illinois governor who was just arrested in a corruption scandal.

John Edwards (middle): Former presidential candidate and former U.S. Senator who was outed for having an adulterous affair while his wife was being treated for cancer.

Ted Haggard (right): Former big-time pastor and leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, who resigned in 2006 after a big same-sex prostitution/methamphetamine scandal broke.

———-

Q: What do all these guys have in common, other than being white, powerful, and scandalous?

A: Each of them has overly coiffed hair.

The implications of this are clear: Men who are too fussy about their hair should not be trusted. In this context, “fussiness” can be defined by the following conditions:

1) The use of an inordinate amount of product in one’s hairstyle.

2) The need for a brush to maintain said hairstyle.

3) Feathering

And I say this fully aware that yesterday I admitted to my own indiscretions related to hair fussiness. Though I don’t have enough hair to brush or feather, clearly I am not to be trusted either.

Anyway, I contend that all men should either shave their heads, maintain simple haircuts, or wear hats…just to stay out of trouble. Never trust a pastor wearing a toupee, and never trust a man with feathery hair.

Agree or disagree?

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