You probably would never have thought of this yourself (I didn’t), but today is a special day: It’s Square Root Day. I’m surprised we didn’t get the day off.

What makes today Square Root Day? Well, math-is-hard Barbie, it’s because today’s date is 3.3.09. And three is the square root of nine. Square Root Day — a day in which the month and day are the square roots of the last two digits of the year — only occurs nine times each century. That means it’s a big deal. That means if you don’t celebrate properly today, you’ll have to wait until April 4, 2016, to do this day right.

Miss that one and you’re stuck until May 5, 2025. Don’t waste today.

Are you into other nerd holidays?

If so, then you’re certainly looking forward to Pi Day on March 14 (3.14). The best time to celebrate it is at 1:59, because true math nerds know the mathematical constant ? can be rounded to 3.14159 at five decimal places.

You might also be anticipating the Day of Ones — November 11, 2011. On that date, we’ll note it 11.11.11. Or 11/11/11, depending on whether or not you’re a dot or slash person.

Even bigger nerds will want to be aware of Mole Day, which occurs between 6:02 am and 6:02 pm on October 23. Because you would note that date as 6:02 10/23, which is similar to the Avogadro constant (6.02×10²³), which defines the number of number of elementary pieces (molecules, for instance) in a mole. And as nerds know, a mole is one of the seven base SI units, along with the metre, kilogram, second, ampere, kelvin, and candela.

When I write my next novel, by the way, it will definitely feature an evil scientist named Kelvin Candela.

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OK, I apologize. That second-to-last paragraph was the boringest thing I’ve ever written. Wading through it just made me want to pull out every single strand of my hair, braid them into a rope, and use that rope to try to lasso the squirrels in my backyard…just to have something else to do.

Please come back tomorrow. I promise not to talk about any constants — mathematical, Avogadro, or otherwise.

To make it up to you, I will now post a photo of cute kittens.