I was making fun of inspirational Twitter posts earlier today and @shueytexas reminded me of the clichéd “Hang in There” virtues of the kitten-in-a-tree poster. Which I may or may not have hung in my room as an 11 year-old.

So I thought of a contest. Below is a picture of a cute kitten hanging from a tree. Your job is to come up with the best caption for this poster. The only rules: It must be anti-inspirational. So if you put this photo and your caption together, what you’d end up with is the least inspirational poster ever.

To kick things off, here are a few of my suggestions.

Caption #1:
Hang on as long as you like, but understand the boiling lava will eventually incinerate the tree.

Caption #2:
This kitten may be cute, but unfortunately it slipped right after this photo was taken and broke its leg.

Caption #3:
Bereft of companionship, this cat began hugging trees. Environmentalists are like that.

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Now it’s your turn. The caption contest ends at 9 am tomorrow, at which time I’ll pick my favorite and send the winner a free, signed copy of Pocket Guide to the Bible.

Ready? Go!