I posted a best/worst Christmas list last year and have decided to do another one for this year…but with all-new, culturally relevant bests and worsts. The long wait is over, friends.

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Best update of How the Grinch Stole Christmas:
Sue Sylvester on this year’s Christmas episode of Glee.

Worst update of How the Grinch Stole Christmas:
How the Grinch Stole Christmas, starring Jim Carrey

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Best Christmas decorating trend:
Simple white lights. Always tasteful.

Worst Christmas decorating trend:
Reindeer antlers and a red nose for your car. It’s bad enough that the Grinch did it to his dog. Please don’t do it to your Subaru Forester.

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Best Christmas ornament:
One your child made in preschool, preferably with his or her face on it.

Worst Christmas ornament:
One that replaces the traditional nativity figures with snowmen, bears, owls, or other collectibles. I’ll take my Jesus fully human, please.

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Best Rankin-Bass stop-motion holiday special:
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hermey, The Abominable, the Island of Misfit Toys, FTW!

Worst Rankin-Bass stop-motion holiday special:
Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. I am calling for a moratorium on stories about humble animals and/or trees who somehow find their significance by becoming part of the Christmas story. There’s enough inspiration in the story itself without adding domestic animals or vegetation to it.

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Best Santa Claus Origins Story:
The life of St. Nicholas, bishop of Myra

Worst Santa Claus Origins Story:
The Santa Clause Trilogy
 
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Best Christmas Album:
Depending on my mood, it could be one of three. Behold the Lamb of God (Andrew Peterson), Noel (Derri Daughterty, Steve Hindalong & Friends), or Songs for Christmas (Sufjan Stevens). Go ahead and mock me for my hipsterish ways, but that Sufjan Christmas album is awesome.

Worst Christmas Album:
Christmas on Death Row, by various Death Row records artists. I’m no rap hater, but when Christmas rolls around, I’m not looking for gangsta lyrics by Snoop-Dogg about Santa’s difficulties delivering gifts in the ghetto. I’m just not. Also, the words “Silent Night [Explicit]” should never appear together, ever.

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Best Christmas Cultural Trend:
Concern for the poor.

Worst Christmas Cultural Trend:
Concern for whether or not a retail establishment says “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays.”

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Your turn. Submit your favorite Best/Worst Christmas combination. Or argue with mine. Unless your argument is about the validity of Christmas on Death Row, in which case: don’t bother. For shizzle.