My friend Lisa threw herself down in her desk chair and ran her hands through her curly hair in despair. “I just don’t know what to do, you guys! Ugh! HELP ME!” She bemoaned, “He’s a really great kisser and he’s really funny and I like him…but he’s a Republican! What should I do!? UGH! Dammit!” The rest of us were cracking up. Lisa, the most liberal of all of us, had unknowingly started dating a guy whose political views were rather conservative in comparison.

Lisa joked, “He said something against Roe v. Wade, and I told him, ‘If my mom were here, she’d kick your ass.’ He thought that was funny and he laughed. That’s a good sign, right?” She looked at me and our other friends questioningly. “Would it be terrible if I had sex with him?”

Oh dear God.

My first response was, yes, yes it would be. But then I stopped and started to think it over. Who am I to tell her? I only know how I feel about this issue for myself. Actually…how do I feel about this?

I sympathized with Lisa’s pain. A while back I went on a date with someone who I thought was a liberal, only to find out that he was – no, not a conservative – actually a Hillary supporter who was now abstaining from voting because, and I quote, “The country didn’t care what I said the first time, so why should I vote again?” I tried to get past this blip in our conversation (now I know why you shouldn’t talk politics on the first date), but as open-minded as I tried to be, I mentally took note of the attraction level dropping…dropping…dropping…dead.

The first time I attempted to watch Obama’s acceptance speech, I will admit I was feeling bored and disillusioned. It didn’t help that a friend I was watching it with, an avid Hillary supporter, had taken to mocking Obama’s speech every couple of minutes. Maybe I should  help her heal.

At around 11pm I went to bed. The next day I re-watched Obama’s speech on Youtube and I thought it was very moving, especially the last ten minutes or so. I must say though, Dennis Kucinich stole my heart last week. Sorry, Keith Olbermann, I have a new crush. Sigh. How I flit from man to man. Did anyone else see his speech at the DNC?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVp9cWOcZ7g&feature=related

As I was watching it I grinned from ear to ear. He is a cheeky one, he is, that Dennis. Where’s his soapbox? I imagined him perched on a crate on a dirty street corner yelling about the rights of workers, and maybe Emma Goldman would be nearby rooting him on. He spoke passionately and poetically and mischievously. You could see it on his face, he was having fun. I haven’t seen all of the DNC speeches yet, but of the ones I have seen, I thought his was the best, the most rousing. Why wasn’t this guy running for President? Oh…wait…

I suppose he speaks his views so honestly and passionately because he can, maybe he knows he isn’t going to win (that’s cynical of me), so might as well use his intelligence to get some people riled up. Hell, I’m a liberal and I got inspired. Of course Kucinich was preaching to the converted, but I’m just glad he spoke at all. I’m awake, Dennis! I’m awake! I don’t know about the rest of the folks in this country…

I really have to wonder, though. Is it an ego thing? Why do I get so turned off to someone who doesn’t share my political and social values? Like, come on, if you didn’t think Kucinich’s speech was awesome, we’re not right for each other. I KNOW I SHOULDN’T SAY THAT. That isn’t even true. Small differences like that aren’t dealbreakers, it’s more of a big picture thing. But I tend to believe that a person’s politics are a part of who they are, what they stand for, how they conduct themselves in their daily lives. If someone I was dating told me, for instance (and please keep in mind these are just my own personal dealbreakers):

They own a gun. Dealbreaker.

They enjoy going to strip clubs. Dealbreaker.

They do cocaine. Dealbreaker.

They believe that Jews (or anyone, really) are going to Hell. Dealbreaker.

They expect me to be a housewife. Dealbreaker.

They are a Republican. Dealbreaaa…..wait a minute, Emily, just hold on there a second.

Is this one really okay? Is it really on par with the others? Let’s examine this here. Someone could be voting for John McCain and not be an evil person. I know people who are voting for McCain who aren’t evil people. They’re not stupid. They’re pretty awesome people. But for many reasons, we just disagree. There are also people who are voting for McCain that just don’t like Obama’s economic policies but they agree with his stances on social issues. I shouldn’t be lumping people into categories like this until I know all the facts.

But then…what about after I know all the facts and I’m still turned off? I can be friends with Republicans, I can be friends with Democrats who are abstaining from voting or are voting Republican, I can be friends with someone who is apathetic, but still, I don’t think I can date them. I don’t want to think about one day possibly having a family with them and all the complications that would arise. I don’t think I could even just have a fun little romp in the sack with them (how’s that for sexual misconduct, buddhistfemme?). Even if they were really, really good looking. I don’t think I could get in the mood.

Or, I joked to Lisa, “Maybe the sex would be better because there’s this tension built up, you know? Like angry sex.” I’m not sure if I was, in fact, joking.

The truly sad thing is, three years ago, I was politically apathetic. I wouldn’t have dated me 3 years ago. I’d like to think that I’m personally very open-minded and accepting, but in this case, I’m not. Hello, my name is Emily, and I’m a close-minded liberal.

I guess, after everything’s said and done, I have become so wrapped up in politics and what I personally think is “right” and “correct” and “intelligent” that I don’t think I can have a romantic connection with someone who doesn’t share my major views. With such an important election upon us, the pressure really is on. I almost feel like my agreeing to go out with a Republican would act as some sort of positive reinforcement and I should not be encouraging problem behavior (I know, that’s a little sick). Instead they should end up dateless and lonely and then maybe they’ll vote Democrat so they can get some action. With the self awareness that that is, of course, a totally ridiculous statement that I don’t really mean, I have no idea what I would do in Lisa’s situation. It would depend entirely on the person. I support her in whatever decision she ends up making, and I look forward to the endless comedy that will come out of it.

Damn. The Montagues and the Capulets got nothin’ on us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BQMgCy-n6U

(Notice the red and blue in the background? Coincidence? I think not!)

Please share your experiences, thoughts, and Close-Minded-Liberal support group hotlines.