Last Thursday I wrote about my anxiety leading up to the ID Project’s “Becoming a Buddhist” retreat, where Acharya Eric Spiegel would administer the Refuge Vow to those of us who felt ready to officially declare our intention to study the Dharma, participate in the Sangha, and accept the Buddha as, well, a role model in our spiritual lives. Acharya Spiegel’s talk on Friday night and the day-long retreat on Saturday can be summed up in one word: Wonderful. 

IDP regular Jacob recieves his Dharma name from Acharya Spiegel. Note: Autumn sunlight streaming through windows.

Saturday consisted of a morning’s worth of practice and discussion, a short interview with Acharya Spiegel, a lunch break, and the ceremony where some friends and family turned up to watch us kneel painfully and unnecessarily on our shins for 10 minutes before things got going. Outside, the day went from gray and threatening to bright with that particularly diffuse, slanting light of fall.
It’s easy to forget what a couple hours of sitting and walking meditation will do for settling your mind until you sit down and do it – I hadn’t felt so settled in weeks. 
Since none of us are entering a monestary, we spent some of our discussion time on what the Refuge vow means for people living in the world, and New York in particular. For example, one of the Five Precepts is abstaining from sex, but that isn’t necessarily practical or desirable in civilian life – sex itself can be viewed as practice. Acharya Spiegel suggested that instead of a ban on intimacy, one try not to “abuse one’s charisma,” or use emotional energy as an avenue of harm or manipulation. 
My friends have asked me if I feel different and I certainly do, but I’ve been struggling to pin down exactly how. The closest point of reference I have is graduating from college 16 months ago. I felt a little adrift and very free as I turned in my rented purple robe and silly hat at NYU in May 2007, but the Refuge vow has engenered the opposite sensation. There is a sense of definition, like a creek narrowing and growing clearer as the streambed changes from soil and silt to rock, and the source from rainfall to snowmelt. 
It was truly wonderful to be at the Lila Center on Saturday to take the Refuge vow and see the small but hearty community we have at the ID Project. Thanks to Acharya Spiegel and his assistants, and all my fellow refugees.