Things have been hard for a lot of people I know lately. My work hours have been cut. Some of my friends have been laid off and others are working really hard just to have a slim chance of a possible job interview. Those who actually have work are holding onto it a day at a time. Everyone is trying to do more with less
– a recent survey by the Pew
Research Center
shows that for the first time in the history of their survey, televisions are
being considered a luxury instead of necessity by almost half the people they talked to.

When money is tight as it is now, I have to spend energy
watching every dollar that leaves my wallet or goes on the credit card. It is
exhausting and it certainly is not fun. Even though everything that has happened
so far due to the recession has been manageable, I find myself worrying about if or when something
else might happen next. If any of us have a little extra money, we are squirreling it away or sending it to family and friends to help them get by.  All this worrying, watching and trying to keep things together is wearing me out. But I am
tired of being tired. I need a break – even my ever-optimistic mom
has said she feels like everyone she talks to is depressed and it is just
making her feel more depressed.

And though there are valid reasons for all my current concerns, I also know that I have to take care of
myself if I am not going to burn out. In addition, it doesn’t seem that my constant
worrying has made anything better or given me any more control over the
situation than I had before.

So I have decided that since it is almost May, and we had a
freakish day of 90 degree weather here in New
York City yesterday, that is time for some spring
cleaning of my daily routine by really taking the time to see what I do every
day.

What I see when I look at my daily life right now is that I am just coping. I am just getting by. I am not engaging in things that bring me joy.
Instead, I am only taking moments to block things out for a few hours.  I am watching more television – which isn’t
really joyful as much as being the psychological equivalent of sticking my
fingers in my ears and yelling “LA
LA LA. I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” at the top of my lungs.
It doesn’t do much for me except keep the worrying at bay for a few minutes.

So, instead of doing the same thing I do every day, I am
going to try and take the time to have fun and do
something I enjoy, even if they are just small things (and preferably free or
lost cost). Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a social science researcher,
has studied “optimal human functioning” for over 35 years. Part of his theory talks about how the
quality and content of a person’s life depends on what he or she has paid
attention to over time, stating:

“We all must invest attention in material goals in order to
survive, but there is a threshold along the continuum after which any further
investment detracts from the ability to experience other aspects of life–such
as relationships, aesthetic experiences, or the development of the body and the
mind… Given all the threats from the environment and from other
humans, we could not survive long if we did not devote most of our attention to
self-preservation. However, if we devoted all our energies only to take care of
Number One we would stop growing. The evolution of consciousness requires that
we turn psychic energy away from present needs to create ideas, feelings,
relationships, and objects that did not exist before…

The content of life is limited by the amount of information
we can process through attention. In this sense attention, or psychic energy,
is our most scarce resource. Like all resources, it can be used for different
purposes. It can be “invested” in activities that provide immediate
gratification or provide future benefits, or it can be “wasted” doing
things that are neither enjoyable nor conducive to personal growth.” ~ (Csikszentmihalyi
in Chapter 6 of Kasser & Kanner’s Psychology and
Consumer Culture, 2003)

With this in mind, I am going to focus on doing things that really engage my mind or body in a
positive way, instead of just worrying, watching, and trying to control everything. Because even though things are difficult right now, I can’t shut down and just
hope to survive until it is all over. I want to still be able to
learn and grow and nurture myself – if I don’t do that, I won’t have anything to
give to those around me who also need help, support, and moments of happiness during these tough times.