Before Siddhartha Gautama attained enlightenment at age 35 he was a
confused twenty and thirty-something looking to learn how to live a
spiritual life. He had an overbearing dad, expectations for what he was
supposed to do with his life, drinks were flowing, lutes were playing, and the ladiezzz were all about him. Some called him L.L. Cool S. I imagine close friends just referred to him as Sid.

Many people look to Siddhartha as an example of someone who attained nirvana. But here we look at a younger Sid as a confused guy struggling with his daily life. What would he do as a young person trying to find love, cheap drinks, and fun in a city like New York? We all make mistakes on our spiritual journey; here is where they’re discussed.

Each week I’ll take on a new question and give some advice based on what I think Sid, a confused guy working on his spiritual life in a world of major distraction, would do. Because let’s face it, you and I are Sid.

Have a question for this weekly column? E-mail it here and I’ll probably get to it!

DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to be in touch with the Buddha. In fact, I don’t think I even know anyone named Sid.

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Q: I woke up the other day with a wicked hangover and there was a girl lying next to me. I couldn’t even remember her name! What would Sid do?

A:
This is a problem I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It’s something of a worse
case scenario for someone like Sid in that you may have been going
about your life, thinking you were all mindful and in touch with
yourself and then after one too many drinks BAM you wake up with something mysterious in your bed.

In
future posts we can get into things like mindful drinking, the merits
of meeting someone at a bar, or even one-night stands. For now let’s
focus on the problem at hand. 

The first thing to do would be
to take a deep breath and connect with how you’re feeling, both
physically and emotionally. Even in a hungover state it’s good to check
in with yourself and allow a gap in your experience before you put your
foot in your mouth. In other words, don’t freak out. And don’t sneak out.

So
much of what we attempt to cultivate on the meditation cushion is being
present with our experience. We are learning to stay with whatever
arises. So in some sense this could be a very valuable opportunity for
your practice. You physically should stay with this situation and be
present with whatever emotional states come up. No matter how hard that
seems.

Probably the best thing to do is to be straight-forward
with your new bed mate. You don’t have to be insulting but you can let
them know that you had way too much to drink the other night and can’t
remember everything that happened. Try to have a sense of humor about
it. Maybe she can fill you in on some of the blanks?

90% of
the time when you say you were super drunk to someone you were out with
the previous night they will immediately scrunch up their face and say,
“I know. Me too.” Ideally that can be a bonding experience and you can
hash out from your morning as to whether or not you have any real
connection to this person you have encountered stealing your covers.

Just
because you met under not-so-romantic circumstances doesn’t mean it
can’t be a genuine romance. Or, if nothing else, a new friend? Maybe
I’m shooting the moon with that one. If nothing else be polite. And
remember this guy’s maxim, “Brunch heals all wounds.”