This past week I endeavored on my first ever week-long meditation retreat in the beautiful and inspiring Massachussettes Landscape at the Insight Meditation Society Retreat Center.   The most consistent question I have been asked by friends and family since returning is  “What was it like to be silent for a whole week?”, to which my only response has been, “Actually kind of noisy”.

Describing the process of a meditation retreat is quite simple,  you sit and watch the noise of your mind for long stretches of time and see how the waves of thoughts ebb and flow.   Sounds simple for the most part, but the frequency of thoughts and intensity of rising emotions can make the process very unclear, extremely boring and sometimes really scary.

So why do I look so happy in that After Photo if a meditation retreat is all this work?   Well for one thing having delicious vegetarian food cooked for me all week was a real treat.  Secondly, I didn’t have to think at all about what to do or where to go, the schedule was set by the teachers and bells were rung all over the retreat center when it was time to do something new. Thirdly, because there was a vow of noble silence, I was not responsible for anyone else except myself for an entire week.   I normally spend 95% of my brain power on those three things alone, so the real joy of going on this retreat was the gift of getting to know myself better, even if it meant facing some pretty ugly stuff.

So what was different about IMS?

The style of teaching is very gentle and stresses the idea of taking care of yourself over pushing too hard.  Resident IMS teacher Chas DiCapua put it best while giving instruction for Loving-kindness meditation.  “We like to start with what’s easy and move on from there.” 

Simple as this advice might be, it was something I had lost sight of over my young adult life.   I have even been struggling in my attempts to “stop the struggle”, which is the definition of suffering.   In being introduced to Shambhala and the path of being a “Spiritual Warrior”, I experienced a
combination of intrigue, mystery and a “call to duty for the good of
humanity”, which actually generated a bit of anxiety about all the work
I still had to to do. 

Speaking strictly from the point of view of what works for me, my introduction to the Insight tradition
(admittedly more immersive) was much more
immediately useful in reducing anxiety, and was more of a call to
“Stopping the War” than starting any new projects.

Jack Kornfield, who co-founded IMS, writes in his book A Path with Heart:

 “Genuine spiritual Practice requires us to learn how to stop the war…we cannot easily change ourselves for the better through an act of will…Such acts of will usually backfire, and in the end often strengthen the addiction or denial we intend to change.”

Simply allowing myself to be, just as I am, without the struggle…so radical.

Anyone know of a good introductory Zen Sesshin in the NYC Area?