by Damaris Williams

A
little over a month ago on November 6, I and many members of the IDP community
sat down for the Sit Down Rise Up 24 Hour Meditation Marathon in the window of
ABC Carpet and Home.  I sat for 24 hours along with Activism Director Rafi
Santos, Teacher Jessica Rasp and Founder Ethan Nicthern. Since then, many have
approached me asking what it was like to sit that long.   I find
myself unable to give a concise answer because so many things happened. My mind
changed, the environment changed, the people passing by the window changed.
 Each new moment offered an opportunity to practice dharma in a different
way than the moment before, once again reminding me of the challenge of every
moment to be awake and kind.

So
today I’m writing about a moment I had not planned for. Someone who had hurt me
deeply came to the window.  There I was as open as a sky and there she was
with camera on hand. I wish I could say I stayed open but the truth is I
couldn’t even force a smile.

I
looked at her fuddling with her camera. Then slowly it dawned on me that she’s
grey and getting old. That one day she will be sick and dying and So Will I. There she stood soft, just like
me.  I tried my best to hold on to my justified anger but after 21 hours
of meditating, anger was pretty hard to come by.

What
was underneath the anger buoyed up to the surface and finally unraveled the
knot that had bound me for too long. Underneath all the tears was just a simple
longing to be understood and cared for, and I finally accepted that she never
would.

It
was such a painful moment to accept. I wanted to be angry but she was soft just
like me and I couldn’t be angry.  In the end we are both innocent. In the
end we are both flawed. So common sense finally came into view. I had to let it
go . . . and so I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJC4USrkLeI