In the middle of life everything crashed—my husband walked out, our teenagers left home, I lost my house, friends slithered away and my career suffered from my lack of being able to show up for it.

I felt lost.

In time I began searching for another life…a new reason to be here…a calling.

I read copious books, watched inspirational videos, spent hours processing with girlfriends over coffee and even went to grad school—all in search of that new reason. Among the helpful tips I learned were:

1) Go back to my childhood and tap into what I was interested in before I became warped by parental expectations or trying to fit into the “crowd.” What did I love as a child? What were my happiest memories?  What subjects did I do well in at school? Was there a trend, a theme?

2) Contemplate the end of my life and write my obituary. What did I want to be remembered for?

3) Take Personality assessments for clues to my true nature. ( I took several.)

Every book, video, café session, class and assessment helped. However, one day I read a question that was a bell-ringer for me:

What do I hate? 

I knew immediately.

I hate being unknown—anonymous—used—judged—dismissed based on quick impressions—unable to be who I truly am because no one gives a hoot.

I hate being treated like a thing.

Of course, I realized that I, too, treated people like commodities. And I did a lot of posing and pretending—to fit in with that “crowd”—thus setting myself up for thing-ism.

Nevertheless, I hated it…in all its forms:

1. When children are snatched up and forced into the sex trade or made to be child soldiers. Their lives are wrecked. When do they get to be themselves and fulfill the purpose for which they were created?

2. When men are judged solely for the money they make or the power they wield via their jobs or positions. What about their character? What about the difference they are here to make?

3. When women subscribe to the myth that their value lies in their physical attractiveness. They waste their time and energy obsessing in front of the mirror and at cosmetic surgeons. They end up killing their hearts—their most important asset.

4. The disabled—the poor—the sick—often dismissed as worthless, despite the Gifts they offer.

On and on…

On the heels I seeing what I hated I could see what I was here to do:

My calling is to help people uncover their true selves and the Gifts they’ve been given to help heal our world.  People need to be encouraged to know their Gift and to give it. Doing this is my Gift.

 What about you—what do you hate?

 Does that show you what you are here to do?

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photo credit: yopuz (creative commons)

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