Can you imagine?

Back in the day, we were naive enough to believe that La Parle Obesity Soap reduced fat, without dieting or gymnastics.

(Gymnastics!!! wow, not exercise.  I’m having a flash back to ‘gym’ class, and the gymnastic portion of it.  Three (3) girls were underneath me, trying their best to hold up my rather large behind, so that I could hold my position on the ‘rings.’  Holy Guacamole! I haven’t thought of gym in years!)

La Parle Obesity Soap gives pause for thought! Doesn’t it?! What miracle cures are we naive enough to believe today???   Our Lady of Weight Loss received the following e-mail (and then dictated a response to me, post haste) from Amy, which she (OLofWL) has instructed me to share with you NOW! (I follow orders!)

CHEWING THE FAT … Military Action!!!
Background:  Amy is 25 years young and is at her heaviest number ever!  When Amy joined the military in 2009, she was a size 4.  However, in August of 2010, she was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease and began chemotherapy.  Because of the chemotherapy, she ‘dropped’ 20 pounds; soon to be ‘picked up’ after her doctor put her on steroids.  Those 20 pounds, plus some!  She has now completed chemo and is ready to lose weight.  Sounds good, no? Maybe and Maybe NOT!

Dear Our Lady of Weight Loss,  …. I am at the end of my chemo, and I am obese and out of shape.  I have until October 1st to drop my weight and get in shape.  We have a physical fitness test, as well as height and weight recording.  I have to be within my standard to return to duty.

My standard for my height is 138-151 lbs.  My goals is to lose 45 lbs. by October.  I know I need to run, as well as work on strengthening, because I haven’t been able to do any physical exercise while on chemo. …. I started an 800 calorie diet.  I wanted to know if I run 4x a week, and work on strengthening with sit ups, push ups, and weights, do you think I can make it to this goal in the 40 days?  I am also taking Oxi Elite Pro.

Please help.  I am desperate. ~ Amy

Dearest Amy ~  I understand why you are feeling the way you are, because this isn’t just about the weight; it’s about getting back to your life – your military life!  Honestly, though …

… Is it possible to lose over 1 pound a day?  Without losing fat and undermining your health?  Amy, I am not a nutritionist, nor a dietician, nor a nurse.  However, I do know enough to know that 800 calories a day is unhealthy, not to mention a kind of torture.

Your body will think it’s starving and your metabolism will slow down accordingly.  It’s counter-intuitive, and counter-productive.  You will lose less, not more on 800 calories a day.  I hear-tell that no one should ever eat less than 1,200 a day.

As far as the Oxi Elite Pro goes.  Our Lady of Weight Loss just let out an audible ‘moan’ and an ‘oy.’  She is against pill-popping.  Especially, given the fact that you have an auto-immune disease.  Who knows what the ingredients may or may not do to your system.  She advises that you ask your medical doctor before taking anything!!!

A healthy weight loss should be no more than 2 pounds per week, which is more like 4.5 months from now.

Amy, given your medical history, might ‘they’ move your physical exam to six months from now instead of 40 days???  As difficult as this may be, please do your best to look at the ‘big’ picture; your compelling future.

When they say that without your health you ain’t got nothin,’ they speak the truth.

Please let us know what happens!  We are rootin’ for you.  Both Janice & OLofWL (and the Tushkateers, members of the Kick in the Tush Club) are praying, chanting, meditating (we all have our own, valid methods) for your quick and healthy weight loss, enabling you to live the life of your dreams!  ~ OLofWL

Tushkateers, please root for Amy in your own, authentic way. 
We’re in this together … every ounce of the weigh!