How many times have you most probably said to our kids, “look at me when I’m talking to you?” Why do you suppose you say this? Maybe you want to know they are hearing and paying attention to what you’re saying. It’s more challenging to ignore someone when they are looking at you. We want to be heard by our kids and understood as well.

Life is busy in our modern families with tasks and to do’s, which can overshadow our chances for good communication. In our effort to be everywhere the kids need to be and have family dinners etc. we may be moving through our family time with little chance for true connection because of all the activity. Eye contact with our kids is vital for this connection.

 Why is eye contact with our children so important?

~Eye contact can facilitate communication and understanding and we want to be able to communicate on many different levels with our kids.

~ “Eyes are the windows to the soul.” Looking into your child’s eyes gives you access to a more profound level of communicating. For example, when you are accessing a deeper level, it may come across to you as a feeling or intuition.

~ You can more easily identify with how they’re feeling, as emotion is hard to hide from the eyes. When you have an idea of how they feel you can more readily choose how to support them. For example, your child is saying one thing but their eyes say something else.

~ It’s an exchange of energy and you can choose what energy you send to them. For example, if your child is angry you can help soothe the situation by showing the calm, love and ease in your eyes.

~ Your kids will know they have your attention when you look into their eyes.

~ There is a potential for compromise when this connection is initiated. For example, your child will see and feel that you want to reach an agreement by what you are showing them with your gaze.

~ You have the opportunity to really “see” your kids, as it’s a deliberate way of observing how they are reacting and feeling. For example, as you have eye contact, you can readily observe their body language etc.

Conscious parenting involves being deliberate in what we project toward our kids.

Your children will be affected in a profound way by how you look at them. What they see in your eyes can be so much more powerful than what you are saying. Help your children feel the power of your love and support with the loving energy than you exude from your eyes into theirs.

Your comments are welcome.

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.