February 12, 2010

Day 42

Weight: 197 lbs

Weight lost: -9 lbs

I’ve been focused on food. I’m taking communion every day, just to see what would happen in my life – particularly what would happen in my relationship with food. I love food, I admit. But at times it has come to rule me. I’m experimenting to see if I can satisfy my hunger in another way, with a deeper food, specifically with the body and blood of Christ. The process has me focused on food, almost all the time.

The results are surprising to me. I’m thinking about food all the time, but I’ve dropped 9 pounds since the first of the year. That’s not breaking news, but it’s real and noticeable. And I really haven’t done anything different in my life except share the Lord’s Supper with my family every evening. The change seems to be happening almost naturally, or supernaturally naturally. I just find myself with a different relationship with food.

Still, I also find myself thinking about food more, and finding an awareness of it all around me. When I decide to look for the color red in the room I’m in, I see red. That’s the power of focus. When I decide to intentionally “consume” the real presence of Jesus, I find myself noticing food from a different angle. It’s quite a shift that honestly I haven’t worked to master. It simply is there.

This morning I made waffles for my sons for breakfast. I loved the smell of them cooking. Normally, I would have, without thought, made one for myself. But this morning I didn’t. I considered it, but thought first, with focus. I realized I really didn’t want a wad of white starch sitting in my stomach all morning. I paused for one moment and considered… That is what is new for me. Instead of running on automatic pilot and eating whatever happens to be in my homing device range, I’m focused and considerate.

“God, I don’t want to take for granted your evident work in my life. As this season has me focused on food, I also want to focus on you in and with my food. That really is the point here. I’m not taking communion as a kind of game. I never want to use you and your gift of life as a substitute for my fallen and sinful appetite. Draw my attention to you, naturally, without force or laborious discipline. I simply want to want you. Work inside my desires. You promise to give me the “desires of my heart…” Okay, I believe that. But not only give me the things I desire, give, and mold and rule the desires themselves. Give me right desires, and then the things that will truly fulfill and satisfy those desires themselves. Only you! In Jesus…”

“The Eucharist Diet” adventure is my six month experiment taking daily communion and tracking and posting the results in my personal life, relationships, health, and body fat percentage.