Two “firsts” happened on September 11th, 2001 as my college roommate and I watched those planes crash into the Twin Towers:

1. I actually wanted to kill another human being.
2. I met the religion of Islam.

I was still a fire-and-brimstone Christian and highly patriotic at this point in my life, so the fact that these Muslim men had invaded my country with this strange religion from the desert was enough to set me over the edge. “What could I do to serve both Jesus and justice?” I prayed. My answer came one day as I drove through town and saw signs at the local military recruiting office.

Within a week, I was talking to a United States Marine Corps. recruiter. Papers signed, I awaited my ship out date to the Marine Corps. Training Depot, Parris Island South Carolina for the next summer. I wanted to earn my commission, become a Marine Corps. officer, and kill as many Muslims I could in Afghanistan. After all, at this point, my first and only impression of Islam was that every member was a blood-thirsty suicide bomber hell-bent on destroying America and all non-Muslims.

But something happened, something that changed the course of my destiny.

I never made it through Boot Camp. I never became a Marine. I never got the chance to kill a Muslim. And now I am here, nearly 10 years later, devoting an entire month to understanding Islam and its people by temporarily becoming one. As an honorary Muslim, I have to concede that Allah truly moves in mysterious ways and subhan’allah (glory to God), the divine had better plans for me.

Each month of Project Conversion prepares me for the next. I didn’t plan things this way, it just kind of happened. Last month I buried the hatchet with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I talked about how, in high school, I would chase down the missionaries and call them heretics. Last month taught me how to come to terms with my past and instead of feeling guilt, learn from my mistakes and move on. This month with Islam gives me the same opportunity. Although I no longer harbor such malice toward Muslims or their religion, I often catch myself thinking about how I once felt about them. Whenever I recite the shahada (the Islamic declaration of faith), I briefly wonder if those were the same words the terrorists used before killing three thousand people on September 11th.

Then I remember that Muslims were murdered in those towers on September 11th as well. But I never heard about that in the news. Maybe someone reported this, maybe I wasn’t listening. But now I am listening, now I’m acting on what I know to be true. The truth is that there are millions of peace-loving Muslims around the world, many of whom live here in the United States. The truth is that many Muslims were just as shocked and sickened by September 11th as I was. The truth is that Muslims died that day and many subsequently joined the Armed Forces to bring those responsible to justice. Airplanes and a religion were hijacked that day.

The truth is that when a bomb goes off in any part of the world today, we still assume a Muslim was responsible.

When are we going to shed our conditioned past so that we can clearly see our future? In May, the Buddha’s teachings forced me to let go of my joy for Osama bin Laden’s death. In July, I let go of everything I thought I knew about the Latter-day Saints. This month I am embracing a people I once wanted to destroy. When was the last time you dropped your ego, tested your accusations, passed your though the crucible of reason, and came out on the other side different than before? The truth is, I think most of us are scared of change. We are terrified of standing out from the blood-thirsty mob.

I say we start our own mob. This mob thinks for itself. This mob independently investigates truth instead of relying on the fever-pitched vitriol of so-called “cable news” hosts. This mob meets the issues head-on. We are not afraid of our own reflection.

So to the Muslim community I join this month: I am sorry for my past actions. I will do my best to get to know you this month on your terms. This does not ignore the fact that there are Islamic terrorists, but it does acknowledge that these terms are often mutually exclusive. Not every Muslim is a terrorist, and by the same token, not every American hates Muslims. Today, count me as your friend and ally. I do not know what Allah has in store for me this month, but inshallah (God willing), I will come out the other side a better man than when I entered.