Two very special events took place this week 1) We signed up my daughters to play soccer AND I volunteered as a coach, and 2) My youngest daughter’s birthday is today. She’s turning 6!

She’s super excited and we’ll have about 30 people at the house today to help us celebrate. I’m really looking forward to cleaning up afterward, er…the party! It’ll be fun.

What makes these two events relevant to my Sikh experience this month is the idea of living a householder’s life. In India–among many Hindus–many believe that the path of the renunciate or, one who leaves all worldly affairs and living in order to wander alone in search of moksha (liberation) or Enlightenment. Guru Nanak and later Guru’s denounced such action, declaring that the householder’s life, one who has a home and family, is natural and preferable to mankind.

“Instead of wearing these begger’s robes, it is better to be a householder, and give to others.” –Guru Granth Sahib

But how am I supposed to reach liberation/union with God/Enlightenment with two kids hanging off me, a wife who needs love and attention, and a dog who just chewed up the swimming pool? Instead of abandoning life, embrace it, the Guru says. Don’t run away from your family in order to gain “liberation.” To the Sikh, family life IS the liberation, because it reminds one of sacrifice for others, earning an honest living, selfless love, and giving. Within Sikhi thought, Waheguru (God) is viewed as the bridegroom of Creation, and all of existence is His bride. We see this idea expressed in the Kirtan Sohila read by Sikhs every evening before they fall asleep:

“The day and hour of the marriage (departure to the next life) is fixed, so the friends should pour the customary oil on the threshold. Bless the bride (us), so that union with the Master (God) may be obtained.”

So, what does this have to do with birthdays and soccer games? Sometimes in our spiritual pursuits, we get wrapped up in our own efforts and shut out the rest of the world. Indeed, every Sikh is called to Naam Japo (constant meditation on God’s name), however that should not come across as an invitation to shun the world and sit in the woods, mechanically repeating this mantra, but to find God and meditate on Him as He exists in every inch, fiber, atom, and situation of your life.

There were times when I’d visit the Temple (my spot at the river) and never want to leave. I found a space there where nothing could touch me. Peace and clarity settled on my mind and I could see so much that I couldn’t before. And then my cell phone would ring (Wife: “Hi! We’re on our way home. See ya there!”) and like an alarm clock, jerk me out of the dream. Sometimes I’d get frustrated and for just a second, wish I could live as a Sannyasi (recluse or renunciate), but what would that accomplish? In order to escape suffering I would instead inflict it upon my family. How is inflicting pain on another the path to liberation? the Guru might ask.

The Sikh is called to be “in the world but not of it,” to operate on this plane as a member of society, however not sidelined by its troubles.

“As the lotus flower floats unaffected in the water, so does he remain detached in his own household.“–Guru Granth Sahib

While my daughter’s birthday and soccer practice will take time away from my study of Sikhi, the Sikh and Guru would gently remind me that participating in and enjoying these events are in fact a practice of Sikhi. Marriage in and of itself is said to usher us toward God.

So strange how things work out. This very post was the one deleted on Wednesday because of tech issues, but it has little to do with the subject I had in mind. In fact, now that I read it, I didn’t even start out with the householder’s life in mind! As a writer I should know better, that life is organic, vibrant, determined, passionate, and it finds its own way. Good stories are a lot like life and often take a path of their own. Project Conversion is a story and I am but one character in this narrative. Like the householder’s life, I have to accept my role and participate with love and thanks, and just let this thing go as it will.

Speaking of which, I think I need to get off here and buy a new kiddie swimming pool. Peace!