Welcome to the idyllic island of Suvasavu, Fiji, where love and romance flow with the waterfalls and pulse with the waves on the sandy beaches! We are given a few snippets of what to expect ahead, but first we get down to business and go back in time with Ashley and the guys. We get some highlights from some her previous times with the guys and what she likes about them. Fair to say, she has a kind word for all of them without a single complaint or negative comment. Maybe that’s the editing, but more likely it’s a reflection of Ashley’s kind personality. Ashley looks forward to spending time with each of the guys alone, possible only at this stage of the season.

Uh, oh, we’ve got an expected visitor! Ryan P. somehow finds his way to this far out of the way island. Ashley’s “Tatadra” (Dream House) suddenly has the potential to become her worst nightmare! He knocks, she looks shocked to see him, they hug and she asks him “what’s going on?” So Ryan goes on about how they lost the flame, he went back home and got into the swing of daily life, but he found that couldn’t quit thinking of her. So he calls Chris (the show host) and arranges to come back for a visit and talk with Ashley. He’s asking Ashley if she had been thinking about him in the meantime as he admits what he’s asking for is unusual. Ryan has obviously thought all this through and pours it all out. Ashley says, “Omigawd, I can’t believe this”. He doesn’t push it and “wants to give her some time to think about it”, leaving her with a personal note. They hug as he walks out and it looks — for moment, anyway — that he’s going to be around for a little while. Three becomes four at a time when it should become two (not to mention one soon!).

Ashley’s times together with the guys start with Ben. They begin with hugs on the pier as they go out to a small yacht Bel’Mare and go cruising. They talk a bit about his home visit and then he tells her how happy he is to be with her. As the conversation gets kind of serious, she distracts him a bit with a “Look!” towards an island and then it goes from seriousness to a bit of playfulness, sunbathing with her massaging him with suntan lotion on the deck of the yacht. They then go snorkeling in a beautiful reef of abundant, colorful sea life. It’s sundown by the time the yacht makes its return trip, the two of them hugging and kissing behind the background of a tropical sunset in the sea. By the dinner time, with candles and torches all around them on the beach, Ben has all but fallen in love. Over dinner, he says they feel comfortable about each other, “it’s pretty obvious”. They’re probably over-talking it now, maybe over-analyzing where their relationship is going. He says “I’m available”, a place he wasn’t two months ago but is now. Smoochy coo! Again! Now, she gives him a letter, has him read it and asks him what he thinks. It’s nice simple letter inviting him to join her, “Should you choose to forgo your individual room and… stay as a couple…” Well! “Whaddya think?” she asks. Yup, “I get it, you get it, we’re on the same page”, he says privately. They join in the pool in swimsuits, kiss and hug, hardly say a word and then and he carries her off in his arms to the threshold at the door! The rest of their night left is to our imagination.

Next up is Constantine. Their trek begins with short hug and a helicopter ride with some pretty spectacular views of the island and beaches. It’s certainly a lot faster than a yacht — and maybe a little too noisy in the cockpit to get into any kind of serious conversations! (We break into an interlude with Ryan alone on the beach, waiting, just waiting… and now we go back to our regularly schedule program as Constantine and Ashley dive and swim in a waterfall pool.) “I have water in my brain.” Oh, how romantic, not! Finally a little serious talk begins and Constantine seems to be getting off the wrong foot here. Ashley goes all wishy-washy “I don’t know how things are going to happen” and ta-da-da-da. “You can’t just jump into a relationship”, she says to him and private says that Constantine needs more time. Well, guess what dude, wake up, time is running short! Uh, oh, it’s dinner time already. Let’s guess. Production didn’t have any good takes for the rest of the day, so we jump to the obligatory dinner and and Ashley says “hopefully have a lot of time together.” The dinner starts off with an “isn’t that weird” and gets weirder. The whole conversation is awkward, her wondering if he can figure out what he wants and Constantine “hasn’t been able to do that”. There are a lot of double negatives in this conversation and it becomes clear what’s coming next. Constantine says “I don’t have that yet” when it comes to being 100% about her, about them, and he wants to respect her, himself and his family, and…

{Cut!}

Eep! What is this? Not only did Ryan break into the action, now Barack Obama butts into the action too! Hey, dude, you’re already attached to Michelle, so can you kindly head back to the tarmac and go fly off in Air Force One back to D.C. where you belong? Thank you, Mister President! And now House Speaker John Boehner shows up to talk! Sorry to say, this isn’t quite the Boehner that the bachelors had in mind. Good grief. Thank goodness we haven’t heard the guys talk politics with Ashley. No wonder people like to watch reality TV instead.

Now where were we? Oh, yeah, Constantine. Things are looking as bad for him as it does for the U.S. Greek national debt. Worse even, if you can imagine that. It begins with Constantine saying let’s “… be honest about it…” and so it ends. Ashley says she’s glad he’s honest about it, they hug and the party’s over. Guess who’s going home. He never does get the letter she wrote for him to invite him for the night. And he’s already packing his bags, long before the rose ceremony. Mama, mia, back to the pizzaria!

Well, surprise, surprise. Ryan may serve as a more than adequate substitute for Constantine. So she knocks on his door, they hug and he’s thinking OMG, she’s here! Will he get a second chance after Mr. No Chance Constantine gives him an opening? Ashley’s in the driver’s seat this time, having the leverage of having seen him off once before. The truth is, she says, she has found what she was looking for and he’s not the one. “Yeah, well…”, Ryan says in resignation, and he gets the picture. No hard feelings here, but maybe it helps him to have closure here knowing that she “clearly has it for someone else”, for that “lucky guy”. Let’s hope production paid for your trip, Ryan!

Meeting J.P., Ashley feels “like she’s on an emotional roller coaster”. Us too, after all that’s already transpired tonight. Ashley and J.P. are looking naturally happy together as they fly off in a seaplane (what’s next, a submarine?). We’re treated with more aerial views of the island and beaches. “I don’t know where we’re going, but it’s absolutely terrific”, J.P. says of their trip. Well, guy, maybe Ashley will help you out along that score, already leaning up against you. They end up on a deserted island beach of their own, all alone (except for the camera man, that nosy bugger!). J.P. doesn’t want to talk much, says it doesn’t matter what’s said, much less about the other guys, so let’s just enjoy ourselves. Ashley says privately they both feel the passion, a word that comes up just for these two. J.P. is ready for her to say that he’s the only one she wants to be with. They must spend the entire day on that beach as we’re suddenly joining them for a pre-dinner drink. Finally, we hear some serious talk about where they’re going and where they might end up, and he finally expresses his fear that she and other guys still have feelings for each other. She then surprises him with the fact that she has already sent off two guys and he goes “What? Wait, wait, when? What are you talking about?” Ashley gives him an update on No Chance Constantine and Second Chance Ryan. Hah, talk about surprises! But this still leaves Ben, doesn’t it? J.P. suddenly sees his chances rise astronomically, but Ashley warns J.P. not to get hung up on the other guy. She knows he wants to be the only one and she understands how it can cause him to hold back until he is. Well, duh. Now she gives J.P. the letter, the same one we heard Ben read, but addressed to him. Hmmm, couldn’t she have individualized these a letters even a bit apart from fill-the-name-in-the-blank? Of course, he accepts. As she comes out in a nightie, the action begins. Ummm, hmmm, guess where this goes? Lights out, folks!

Next commercial break. No, I’m not interested in being in next season’s Bachelorette. Sorry to say, I don’t meet eligibility requirements, although it could theoretically be arranged after a visit to a lawyer. Thanks for asking, though.

So now Ashley meets with the show host for an interview, talking about the dates and ups and downs. Ashley continues to speak nicely of everybody, but there are no surprises here. Was it harder to say good bye to Constantine or Ryan, he asks. Obviously, Ryan because he still wanted a another chance while Constantine gave up his chance. Ashley is quite articulate and clear about how she thinks and feels, careful to be kind about what she says about others. Production has to be very happy with how she has been carrying herself on-camera, especially since the Bentley debacle.

Now for the Rose ceremony, sort of! The host tells the guys that Constantine is obviously absent and he lets Ashley explain further why Constantine was not ready to move on. She wants to go ahead and hold the Rose ceremony with these two, with both of them knowing that they’re selected for real. The only question here is who will she give the first rose to? The first rose goes to Ben (J.P. looks a little pained by that) and then Ashley calls J.P. up to pin the rose on him with a smile and short cheek kiss. They toast and…

We’re lead directly into a preview of the upcoming “Guys Tell All” reunion show on Sunday. Do we really want to dredge all this out again? Meh. Expect sour grapes.

One week from tonight, we’re treated to the season Finale! Who will Ashley finally choose between Ben and J.P.?