I have many things festering in my
heart.  I am battling the demons of stuff, of things not important.  I
am trying to find a way to incorporate my life with what my heart is
thumping about.

Since the beginning of our adoption with Desta, my thoughts about
poverty have changed.  I no longer see an orphan as a child in a picture
on a screen shown during a church service.  No, an orphan is now what
my daughter used to be.  That precious little girl, asleep in her crib
upstairs, has brought the issue of orphans smack into my heart.  And I
feel like I’m not doing enough.

Maybe I call it a holy passion.  I am trying to find the balance
between mothering my children, living in this world, this place and
reconciling the issue of orphans (hundreds of thousands).  And I’m
stumped. 

Because it is not easy.  It is not easy moving beyond what my heart
wants to actually doing something.  It’s not easy surrendering comfort,
my comfort, for someone else.

And when I stop and think about that orphan, that child who is
overwhelmed with joy to get one hot meal of beans and rice, the same
dish, every day, that makes my heart thump even more.  Because I
wouldn’t want to eat beans and rice, day in, day out.

So my heart is thumping and my mind is swirling and I am looking for a
way to do something, now, to ease the ache of this holy passion
stirring.

Melodie is the author of the "FULL CIRCLE" blog.