When you juggle seminary, homemaking, commuting your kids to school, blogs and many other things, you can drop the balls and everything falls apart. But it is a huge blessing for me to know that I am not doing this in my own strength because I would not want to pick up the balls and try again. I want to leave some of the balls on the floor while I try to juggle an easier load. But I am not called to be just a seminary student or just a mom, I am called to do everything that has been given to me to do. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).
And when I drop the balls and don’t know if I have the strength or desire to continue, God is there. He picks up the balls and puts them in the air. Yesterday was a perfect example. I kept putting off getting the cell phone because I wanted my husband to help me make sure I was getting a good deal but when we went to purchase it we found out we were paying more for it than we thought. So here I stood staring into the faces of my sad daughters and having to deny them the one thing they really wanted (and couldn’t stop talking about for the last month) and to top it off Samantha had absolutely no presents for her birthday. I told her we could go shopping and buy something on Monday and she was very good about waiting.
We also kept putting off getting the decorations for the party and the craft. So today was the last opportunity. While shopping for decorations we had enough time to purchase toys for Samantha, party decorations and favors and a craft plus we rented two movies. Samantha was so excited and kept thanking me for the cool crafts for the party and for the decorations. She is convinced that this will be the “best party ever.” We even were able to decorate and clean tonight so everything is ready for tomorrow.
God was with me today, helping me to fulfill my calling as mom. I know that He will be with me next week as I concentrate on my calling as seminary student. I just wish I trusted Him more. I just wish it wasn’t such a struggle.