For those of you who asked how does gay marriage destroy the institution of marriage? Here it is:

In her battle to legalize polygamy, the only thing Valerie hasn’t revealed is her last name. The mother of eight has been on national TV; her photo along with that of her two “sister-wives” has graced the front cover of a glossy magazine dedicated to “today’s plural marriages.”
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All the while, the petite brunette with a smile as bright as Utah’s sky has insisted that she’s just like you and me: “I’m a soccer mom. My kids are in music lessons. They go to public school. I’m not under anyone’s control.”

Valerie and others among the estimated 40,000 men, women and children in polygamous communities are part of a new movement to decriminalize bigamy. Consciously taking tactics from the gay-rights movement, polygamists have reframed their struggle, choosing in interviews to de-emphasize their religious beliefs and focus on their desire to live “in freedom,” according to Anne Wilde, director of community relations for Principle Voices, a pro-polygamy group based in Salt Lake.

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In recent months, polygamy activists have held rallies, appeared on nationally televised news shows and lobbied legislators. Before the Nov. 7 elections, one pro-polygamy group issued a six-page analysis of all Utah’s state and local candidates and their views on polygamy. “We can make a difference,” the group told supporters.

The efforts of Valerie and scores of others like her are paying off. Utah’s attorney general, Mark L. Shurtleff, no longer prosecutes bigamy between consenting adults, though it is a felony. Shurtleff and his staff have established an organization, Safety Net, to bring together at monthly meetings representatives from at least five polygamous communities and law enforcement officers. He has arranged to have representatives of polygamous groups address Utah police. And three years ago, he wrote legislation to reduce bigamy between adults from a felony to a misdemeanor, although pressure from Utah’s county attorneys derailed that.

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“The thinking is this: This is a big group of people. They are not going away. You can’t incarcerate them all. You can’t drive them out of the state. So they are here,” Shurtleff said. “What do we do about it?”

In their quest to decriminalize bigamy, practitioners have had help from unlikely quarters. HBO’s series “Big Love,” about a Viagra-popping man with three wives, three sets of bills, three sets of chores and three sets of kids, marked a watershed because of its sympathetic portrayal of polygamists. The U.S. Supreme Court’s 2003 decision in Lawrence v. Texas, which voided laws criminalizing sodomy, also aided polygamy’s cause because it implied that the court disapproved of laws that reach into the bedroom.

Conservatives said this at the time. It’s just a matter of time before it will be decriminalized. Then what’s next? Marrying your sister or your cousin?