You cannot improve (if that is the word) on the guy arrested for beating up his armless, legless girlfriend:

Although Bell had both hands and part of both legs amputated because of a childhood illness, Smith said she can still be violent when she loses her temper.
“She’ll swing, push me down and choke me with her nubs,” Smith said. He said she also hit him with her wheelchair.

And threatened to bite his legs off, no doubt.