The NYT takes note of Russia’s failure to catapult itself to the front ranks of enlightenment and progress. Excerpt:

As always, sex toys are a tough sell in Russia.
“We have to try to enlighten the customers,” said Ms. Borisova, an owner of Erotic Fantasy, a supplier of German-made intimate equipment in Russia. “No one knows what, why and how: what lubricant is, why a dildo is needed, how to use vaginal balls.”

The Russian people are obviously bone-through-the-nose savages. No one there knows why a dildo is needed — just imagine! These poor, benighted blighters have so much to learn from the West. We must send them our very own contemporary Myrna Minkoff at once. My stars, they don’t even know how to use vaginal balls! Oh, the humanity.
UPDATE: The more I think about it, the more I fear for the Russians, having to learn the amorous arts from the Germans. Isn’t that like learning dance from mechanical engineers? Pneumatics! Schnell!