As I type this, a nation of basketball fans are watching an ESPN program devoted to where man-child LeBron James, who is extraordinarily gifted at throwing balls through elevated circles, will choose to work for the next few years, during which he is expected to become the world’s first billion-dollar athlete. Like James Poulos, I could not possibly care less — but unlike J.P., my apathy comes from Dalrymplian befuddlement and spite. Can’t say I blame James for milking it for all it’s worth. But good grief! I will say that if he doesn’t choose to stay in Cleveland, holding an hour-long live ESPN special to announce you’re sticking it to what’s more or less your hometown is pretty low-class.
UPDATE: He’s going to Miami. Oh, the humanity. Nothing left to do but to plow the city of Cleveland under, and sow the ground with salt.