In the past year I’ve met, or been in contact with, a few women who intimidated me. It doesn’t happen often. It awakens my inner dork from childhood. It’s an uncomfortable feeling where I don’t feel like myself and brings up old triggers. It never lasts for more than a few minutes where I slap myself back into reality like a splash of cold water.

You know when you meet someone who has that “it” factor, that magic, that special somethin’ that makes them seem like a rockstar even if they’re actually not. You can see them really going places in the world or even just possessing a lot of wisdom and knowledge. They’re like the cool kid. You can imagine people wanting to flock to be in their presence, just to be in their glow. That sparkle, inner fire, that mojo can throw us off, if we’re not feeling it within ourselves. It’s a huge lesson to re-center within.

A friend of mine was once looking to become a teacher and when she was going to classes herself on the same subject.  She wanted to give up becoming a teacher, because her teacher was so good and she naturally compared herself. It’s like girl instinct. If it happens, you don’t have to panic. You see what you are feeling so you can change it. Look at that person you’re comparing yourself too and thank them in your mind for teaching you. Send them a silent blessing.

Look at what’s awesome about them and then look within and see why you rock as well. If it seems weird and you feel small now, just send yourself some love.  If you’re new to self-love, it can send you in a tailspin at first, but know it’s a gift, there’s juice to squeeze out of it.  If you were loving yourself fully, you would still see that Queen Bee as a rad chick with all her greatness…but it wouldn’t make you feel like you shrunk.  Your brilliance can never go away.  Your essence is your magic. No matter how big of a star in their world, your world, or the world, someone else is…it’s not like the sun where it will cast a shadow that you’ll get lost in.  This is not TV or middle school, we don’t have side kicks.  You are the main character in your life. Competition and comparisons depletes our life force energy.  It’s okay to acknowledge when thoughts and feelings arise and then you must make a commitment to look within, rather than needing to shrink others to make you feel better.

In my twenties and early thirties, if I met a dazzling, dynamic darling that intimidated me, or evoked, triggered, or made me question my own worth at all, I had a few things I’d do.  I’d either want to instantly become BFF’s with them hoping their shiny rubbed off on me, talk badly about them behind their back, or distance myself from them and pretend they didn’t exist, so I could feel better.  Sounds terrible, but it’s true. I own who I was. You see, I was looking to feel better in those ways, as coping mechanisms to deal with my emotions when they arose. It didn’t dawn on me, until I decided to take responsibility for my happiness, that it had nothing to do with the other person.  It also came from a flawed logic that there was only so much good stuff to go around. There was only enough beauty, coolness, love, magic, abundance, attention, and “it” factor for some and I might not get mine if that diamond girl had it.  She could never have my share.  I live in an infinite Universe.  Thank goodness I know that now.

When you play a bigger game in business and in life, you’ll encounter people further along than you, and/or who know more, and it’s a blessing.  They are your mentors, teachers, supporters, cheerleaders, and not the enemy. We can all thrive. If there is something within another that you admire, you see that Light emanating from within them and you want to “be” like them…the potential dwells within you. This is a given. Or else you wouldn’t feel that tug at you, that desire, that yearning to feel more of that. You could poll other people to find out that they do not want to be like, nor admire the person, and in no way are intimidated by them.  It’s just you. Sometimes it’s sheer confidence, that badass nature in some, where you just want walk that proud, workin’ it every day. You can. The fact that you can recognize that it’s what you want for yourself, rather than actually having anything to do with the goddess you’re intimidated by, is what sets you free.  You are free to be the most fantastic, truest, fullest, deepest, most spectacular version of you EVER. You are a miracle. God created the unique cosmic spark that you are as YOU, not her.  Keep looking to create more of your own magic and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.  Cultivate your specialness. It’s what sets you apart. You rock,  Seriously, you do.