We’ve heard it before… “give it to God”… “lay it at the cross”… “surrender it!”  We know that we should give our worries to God.  That not only can He handle them better than we can, that He wants to do so!  So why is it so hard for us to actually do it?

Recently, I watched while a friend of mine battled with an issue in her life for at least a year.  She was at the end of her rope, having tried everything she could to fix the situation.  She was even being good about taking it to God (or so she thought), as she would spend tearful hours on her knees, begging for His help.  The only problem was… after she’d spend those moments asking for God’s help and direction and seemingly surrendering the situation to Him, she’d say “Amen,” stand up and pick her problems right back up to carry around again.  Of course, she didn’t realize at the time that she was doing it, but I could see it from my outside perspective.

And I’m guilty of doing the same thing in my life.  That’s the thing… it’s hard to see when you are the one doing it.  I thought I had “let go” of several negative experiences from my past.  I had done the hard work – I read books, I went to a counselor, I spent days gripped with anxiety and nights crying in the throes of depression.  I had come out the other side a stronger person.  So I obviously let go of it, right?

Wrong.

Even though I felt better and was focusing on new and better things, those experiences (some dating all the way back to high school!) were still holding on inside my body.  To the point where it was causing physical ailments.  I always heard that stress can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, etc.  And I know that the word “disease” itself means when the body is in a state of “dis-ease,” but I guess I never realized just how much of an effect emotional experiences can have on you physically.

So now that I am working on both my physical and emotional health – it has become more important than ever to truly surrender things to God.  This physical body is not who I am.  I am the soul living inside of it.  I am made from God’s love and His light.  The things in my past are things that have happened to me, NOT who I am.  So doesn’t it only make sense then to let them go?

If you continue to carry around old experiences, feelings or beliefs (consciously or not), you are not only putting your health at risk, but you’re also preventing yourself from living the full life that God has for you.

One of the biggest revelations I have had through this whole experience was about my anxiety.  Since I was about 24 years old, it has been a “thorn in my side.”  Showing up here and there over the years, sometimes stronger than others, but always annoying.  The times when it has taken over my life or affected the choices I’ve made or things I’ve done have been frustrating to say the least.  Frustrating, annoying, paralyzing, frightening, exasperating… they were all words I would use to describe it.  But beneficial?  Um… no.

That is until I read a devotional the other day that flipped a light on.  The woman who wrote was talking about how anxiety and worry had been her method of control her whole life.  That even though she hated it and was miserable, she realized it was serving as a false sense of control.  “A-ha!”  So I was getting something out of it after all.

As long as I was worried or anxious, then I wouldn’t be surprised or caught off guard if things went badly, I got hurt/sick, someone I loved got hurt/sick, I was disappointed, I was embarrassed, etc. etc.  You could pretty much fill in the blank with anything on that one.  But somewhere along the way, the incessant worrying and anxiety (thanks for passing that on, Mom!) had started to serve a purpose for me.  It gave me a rather warped and miserable sense of control.

Thing is, that’s not the kind of control I want.  In fact, I don’t want any.  As scary as that might sound… that’s not my job.  God is in control.  My only job is to trust Him, have faith and seek His will for my life.  Worrying about all the details in between won’t do me or anyone else any good.

So as hard as I was working to continue the legacy of championship-worthy worrying that my mother started, that title will have to go to someone else.  Cuz this girl is done with all that.

Bring it to God?  Oh, it has definitely been brought.